If a man breaks into a conversation between two people. Man reporting to woman

Any relationship between a man and a woman is preceded by a period of communication that can no longer be called friendly, but nevertheless the phrase “Let's meet” has not yet been heard. It is this period that is decisive in the further development of relations, since any of the partners has the opportunity to reduce communication to its original level or give it development. But for the second option, you need to be absolutely sure of the reciprocity of feelings. So, how do you understand that a man likes you if this has not been voiced?

Willingness to communicate in person

He reports to you about his affairs, despite the fact that you do not ask him about it. You know how his working day went, what mood his boss was in, where he dined with business partners. At the same time, he uses almost every minute of his free time to communicate with you: on social networks, SMS messages, by phone or in person. By the way, if a man prefers to communicate with you personally or, in extreme cases, talk on the phone rather than chat, this indicates that you are not just another hobby for him and he is absolutely serious.

He listens carefully to what you say to him, and remembers important events for you that you talked about in advance, for example, that by the end of the week you need to turn in a report, and next Wednesday is your niece's birthday. He captures your mood and changes in it, but does not focus on it: you would not have noticed if you had not thought about it. You were a terrible whiner all evening, and he played the role of a clown, so successfully that after meeting with him all the seas of your problems are knee-deep.

Love gestures

As soon as you meet, he imperceptibly or not very glances at you from the bottom up - this is a male evaluating look, which is why shoes are so important in the image and style of a woman. When you are in the same room with him, but talking to other people, from time to time you catch his eye on yourself: they are watching you, admiring you. If a man who likes you addresses you, he calls you by your first name, saying your name clearly and softly.

One of psychological tricks helping to please to a stranger- copying his posture, gestures, intonations. But the same action can be performed unconsciously, and then it indicates an unconscious desire to please the interlocutor. For example, a man, like you, crosses his legs, answers you with your own phrases, immediately takes a sip of wine after you raise a glass to your lips.

If you ask a person who is in love with you to write your name, he will write it in large letters, in beautiful handwriting, carefully deducing each letter. A man who likes you will not let you get home alone in the evening - even by taxi, pay for your coffee yourself, carry a package in his presence - even the lightest one. But to carry a handbag is an exclusively female prerogative. No matter how heavy the handbag is, you have typed it - carry it! A man with a woman's bag in his hands looks funny and stupid. It is also important how a man presents himself. Nobody likes boasting, but he will behave in such a way and tell such stories in order to look courageous, brave and determined in your eyes.

Communication Precautions

In the end, trust your female intuition. People who arouse interest in each other tend to adopt the emotions and moods of their partner just because he is nearby. At the same time, you want to sit or walk, drink coffee, go to the cinema for the premiere of a comedy. If at the meeting he was cheerful, and you were not very cheerful, after half an hour your mood is the same, and vice versa.

Sometimes a man comes up to a woman and says, “I really like you! I want to date you." However, this happens extremely rarely. Why? Yes, because men are a proud people. It's like that and there's nothing you can do about it. How to understand that a man really likes you? That he's in love with you? Now we will try to answer.

It is generally accepted that:
A man in love:
He looks at the woman he likes intently, more often than usual, behaves “unevenly”, worries, twists objects (especially cylindrical ones)), “spreads feathers”, aging, likes it, shows “signs of attention”, etc. etc.

However, these signs are "superficial". Do not forget about them and we will talk about it in detail. But, men always pay attention to attractive girls and women. That's why they are ... men. That. in a day a man can “fall in love” … 10 times, if not more. But how to understand that a man is seriously carried away ?! For real. What do you like him - well, very much? Even more.

1.Communication. Men are very fond of communicating with girls physically, having sex and getting sensual pleasures. But, if a man is looking for communication with a woman not only on a physical level (I don’t mean business area), not only for the sake of transient intimacy, perhaps ... this is Love! The desire to see and communicate with a girl who really likes. If you really “hooked” a man, then he will never miss you, and will constantly look for meetings. The hunter's instinct will literally "pull him by the hand." What is love? The brilliant Chekhov said: "The desire to see." And this is so! If a man really liked you, then he will look for you, even if he does not have your phone number or address. And there is a high probability that - will find! This is how my parents met. Mom was at the party with her fiancé. However, a handsome young man, passing by, said in her ear: "Telephone." And she just as quietly indicated a few numbers to him. However, the next day, after a noisy feast, he could not remember the number and went to the place of "action". However, the “caring” young owner of the apartment lied, deciding that such a gentleman clearly “does not suit” her. best friend. It would seem that everything should have ended there. But fate draws us in unknown ways. He began to remember. Combining numbers in my head and constantly dialing numbers, day after day, until I heard a familiar melodious voice in the receiver. By the way, she was also interested, called her friend and asked about a new acquaintance. But when he heard the answer: “He came, but I“ sent him off ”, I got a little upset and calmed down. What to do? However, he - "got through"! This is called - Fate, sympathy and national perseverance.)) This happens. I remember my first husband very accidentally met me all the time. From the first meeting I didn't like him. We also met at a party. It was "intended" for my friend. However, when she opened the door, he immediately rushed past me with a bouquet of flowers, spotting at the end of the corridor. I knew him in absentia for a long time, from the age of 16. Because "funny tales" from the army were transmitted "in the area" "by word of mouth." It was a lot of fun and I love that. When we met in person, he joked the same sparkling, I laughed a lot. But I didn't even think about falling in love. I didn't even want to be friends with him. We will talk about “fruitful female-male friendship” a little later. But actually, little depended on us. Again, fate intervened. He began to “get caught” by me somehow often. In the area - I understand this, because. we are neighbours. But after working at the Center ...)) Of course, this is strong. "Accidentally" suddenly met again. And excessive "initiative is punishable")), in short, we soon got married.

So, if you constantly "accidentally meet" a man, then there is no accident here. He can wait for you for hours, and then “accidentally” come out to meet you from his hiding place. Man - fell in love and is looking for meetings, "wants to see", etc. A male hunter "hunts down" the woman he likes, warmed up by the genetic instinct carefully laid in him by mother nature. He sincerely wants to be with his beloved as much and more often as possible. Therefore, he constantly waits for a "situation", wants "contact", tries to "catch the eye". For a sincerely interested man, it is important not only physical (although this is paramount), but also spiritual rapprochement with the woman he loves. He feels good simply from the fact that she - "is in this World" and can be near. And if the initiative comes specifically from him, then the probability serious relationship, subsequent marriage - high. Much higher than with an acquaintance on your initiative. Communication initiative on your part. But “initiative is not always punishable” in this case. Because the modern World dictates its conditions. And we have already had a fruitful discussion about this. Nevertheless - the best option is when - it was "he wanted to."

Very often, a man begins to "adjust" in this way:
He is fond of poetry, if you are a poetess or a librarian)).
Actively goes in for sports if you are CCM.
Becomes an ardent admirer of dances and a joyful dancer if you are a "dancer".
Suddenly gets sick if you are ... a doctor)).
Very true signs - tested by practice.
Further.

2.Friendship. The man begins to "be friends" with the lady he likes. There is even such a Russian folk saying: "We were friends until we had a child." "Friendship" is a sure sign of a man's love. Because men and women are not friends a priori. Or rather, it happens like this: a woman may want to be friends with a man, a man will never be “friends” with a woman “just like that”. Preferring to do this with their fellow tribesmen. And men love women. And "friends" in exceptional cases. There are exceptions, of course, but most likely this is not true or unwillingness and inability to see the truth. OK. Let's get back to "friendship" though. Between a woman and a man. on the initiative of the latter. Such fruitful communication is often accompanied by one-sided help from a man. Otherwise, what's the point of it? Therefore, if suddenly one of the representatives of the stronger sex suddenly “befriended” you sharply, began to take care, take an interest, help with advice and deed (the main thing is financially), support in Hard time, rejoice with you, joke and laugh, for sure - fell in love. "Breathes unevenly." Don't doubt it.

3. Attention. A man does more for you than for others. Even what does not do for anyone, at least not for other women. He finds time for you (even if he is busy), money (even if he is not rich), energy (even if he is tired). He is always "at hand" and "responds", "spoils" you, cares, etc. Moreover, with some "animal instinct" he knows exactly what wishes the object of adoration has. He will take care of his beloved, behave decently with the people of her environment, even if, let's say, they are not very pleasant to him. He will tolerate them, deliberately making certain "sacrifices". He will show attention to relatives, and endure funny jokes and funny stories.)) And these "sacrifices" will not be a burden for him. Because he is in love, inspired and really wants to do something nice. He can communicate for a long time, talk with his beloved. Listen for hours and tell himself. He is interested in the opinion of his beloved woman and everything that concerns her. He wants to know as much as possible: what he lives, what he breathes, what he appreciates, what he loves. A man in love is caring and generous! Not only financially. A lover does not regret, no care, no affection, no kind words, no attention. He gladly "pleases" his woman And if he feels reciprocity, happiness will overwhelm him and in will return to the chosen one with reciprocal warmth, admiration and care. If a man “adjusts” to his mood, tolerates some “jokes”, sincerely rejoices when he managed to please, laugh, calm, protect, surprise, console, be sure - he is in love!

4.sharpness. We have already said that it is very difficult for the representatives of the stronger sex to confess their sympathy, it is easier for them to ... "perform". Men don't change much with age. In fact, these are children and their “approaches” are the same. The little ones pull the pigtail, the big ones can also distinguish themselves. For example, tell him what a cool car he has and drive it. Or what an amazing right hook. And… show on someone for proof. Although he is not asked and the situation does not favor him. Often a man who is quite self-confident begins to be embarrassed, becomes wary silent, or even starts doing some stupid things (taunting, joking, etc.) Men often behave like “idiots” precisely when they are in love. It occurs in experienced-experienced, who unexpectedly "struck". Men are brought up like this: "Hide your feelings and emotions. You are a Man! You are not allowed. Not allowed." But these are people and the mental organization is different for everyone. There are very "thin-skinned". Sometimes the behavior of a man in love can be too aggressive, assertive. This is explained by the fact that they cannot cope with emotions, they cannot "control" themselves and therefore "carry out the negative." Like you have driven him into a "corner", he does not know what to do and is "nervous". I really do not want to appear dependent, relaxed, "sour". Drop face. They are very afraid of being hurt, they are also afraid that they will suddenly “refuse”, “hurt”, etc.

4.Mood. A man in love has an upbeat mood. He becomes cheerful and open when meeting with his beloved woman. He sincerely rejoices, simply because there is a girl in the world who is dear to him, for whom he wants to live and perform feats. And then everything is for yourself, for yourself ... Men by nature are the same romantics as women. They really want to love and be loved. It is simply not customary to talk about it, and it is considered indecent to show, to show. The ostentatious, deliberate manifestation of male feelings speaks of insincerity and makes you wary. But it happens that so "the degree goes off scale", it's just not possible to restrain yourself. Rarely, but it happens. Experienced ladies skillfully "warm up the process" for their own benefit. The main thing here is "not to bend the stick."

5.Behavior. Some physiological processes are difficult to control. And love is a very strong, cruel feeling. It's impossible to deal with him. They say men love with their eyes. Yes, when a man is in love, he likes to "look". Beloved, like a "magnet pulls", he will "follow" with his eyes, not looking up. Sometimes it can "glance" furtively, turning away, but be sure to "cast" glances. At the sight of a coveted "object" a man often loses his breath, he begins to get nervous, to behave awkwardly. He may begin to "beautify" by straightening his clothes and hair. When approaching a beloved person, a man is "lost", embarrassed, falls silent. You can talk differently, the timbre of the voice changes. It gets lower, the speech is interrupted. This is a clear sign of affection. In stressful situations, people lose control over their behavior, and for a man, meeting his beloved is a similar situation. If, at the sight of you, "everything is as usual," then he got really interested. Men do not like to let anyone into "their territory". If he himself begins an active "rapprochement", "reduces the space of communication", then he is clearly interested. During the conversation, he looks directly into the face of his beloved person, paying attention to the lips. His gaze involuntarily "wanders" over the woman's face, "studying" it again and again. Then "slides" down the entire figure. It is believed that the look "on the bridge of the nose" is business, not love. Keep this in mind. By the nature of my work, I often have to "look closely" at the client. In order not to be "confused", I adapted myself to "focus" precisely in the region of the bridge of the nose, sometimes in the middle of the opponent's forehead. This applies to both men and women. Men - especially)). A man in love often tries to draw attention to his person. I'll break it down. Sometimes with loud laughter, a funny anecdote, interesting history. Like a peacock - "dissolves feathers." Demonstrates himself, his manhood, courageous shoulders, muscles, torso, "corrects" his hair, tie, belt. He often raises an eyebrow if he likes a woman, she is interesting. He smiles, even if the conversation is on a "serious topic." His torso is turned towards a pretty person. If he turned away (he was distracted), irritated, he is still "directed" at the woman, even if he is sitting or standing half-turned. The palms of the hands will be "open" and turned towards the lady who is pretty. "Plays" with various enterprises, often oval, cylindrical. Moves objects from side to side. "Ironing" of objects should not be confused with other signs. Sometimes a man just doesn't know where to put his hands.

There is such a thing in psychology - rapport is called. Enter rapport. Psychologists do this on purpose, in order to tune in to the client, "feel", "enter" him. Unconscious repetition of movements, copying them is a sign of sympathy. If a man adjusts his clothes after a woman, touches his face, hair, "adjusts" the intonation of his voice, then he clearly sympathizes. The photographs show an "interested" man. He looks at the woman, turning to her with his whole body, and as if "opening his arms." If he looks into the lens, then all the same his face, his hands are directed towards his beloved. The expression of the face is usually "selfless", imprinted "on the breath". That's what it is external signs"clear sympathy", which we talked about at the very beginning. Interested man always "appreciates the opinion" of a friend and listens to it. Can implicitly "follow instructions", catches every word and attaches importance to trifles. If a lady mentioned that she likes something, she will definitely “remember” it and take note. And then he'll surprise you. Men love surprises. But women love to receive them. But not all. I do not like. Even when I read books, I look at the end. Truth. A man in love is no longer interested in other women. Temporarily or permanently. It largely depends on you. But now he will not "look at" others. He sees his future life together with his Beloved.

6.Jealousy. Where without her?! Jealousy is always with love and love - "hand in hand." They say jealousy is weakness, possessiveness and disease. However, lovers cannot but be jealous. Jealousy is a sign of indifference. I know for myself, sometimes I “accidentally found out” that I fell in love ... discovering jealousy for a person)). So small, small, almost invisible. Therefore, as a man in love and without jealousy ?! He will not tolerate rivals. Boyfriends who "curl" around the lady of his heart. Jealousy manifests itself in different ways. This is a very insidious creature. Sometimes in aggression and assertiveness. As if "eating" the soul eats from the inside. A man may even begin to avoid his passion. He does not move away, but takes control of the situation, wants to calm down a little, reduce his worries. Understand yourself so that nothing interferes. And do not "pull" him at this time. He'll figure it out himself. In yourself, in the situation, in your feeling. There are men who skillfully hide their jealousy, being next to the woman they love. This often happens. But then they "destroy" rivals in different ways. You won't even know about it. Everything will be "sewn-covered". Because jealousy in men is considered a manifestation of weakness. A smart man will never demonstrate it, but he will "act" - for sure. The main thing is that in this situation he does not start to "destroy" you. Because jealousy is really very insidious. And there are historical and literary examples of this. Remember Shakespeare's Othello!?

7.Implementation. A man in love talks a lot about himself. Mostly positive. Sometimes he cheats a little, embellishes, aging, to show himself, his personality from the best side. Eloquently tells about "exploits", professional and sporting achievements. He wants to "show" himself in the eyes of the woman he likes. For him, you need to look "on top", be - "cool" and "hero", "a real man." For him, this is paramount. He himself gradually begins to believe in his power. Physical and intellectual. We have already described in detail the physical and chemical process that invariably occurs in the body of people in love. They wrote about endorphin, they wrote about oxytocin, they wrote the same about phenylethyleneamine with dopamine. It just doesn't happen any other way. A man constantly thinks about the woman he likes. She begins to "live in his head." He periodically "draws", calls "just like that" and "reports on what has been done." Even though no one asks for it. Because I really “want” to report on what has been done, lived and just talk. He needs to hear the voice of his beloved person, he misses, "can't live without." Gradually gets used. Begins to be sincerely interested in opinion, to reckon with it. For him, this is not a burden, because he is in love. Even nice.

8.Appearance. A man in love begins to pay more attention to his appearance, constantly “improves”, changes in better side. He often looks at the mirror, goes shopping, buys himself new, fashionable things. Carefully monitors clothes, begins to experiment with the image. Sometimes he changes his hair. And it's all for the love! When the chosen one appears, breathing becomes frequent, the pulse begins to beat rapidly. No matter how much he hides his feelings, nothing will work. The lover is often in high spirits. “The whole shines,” they say about him. However, the mood can change, there are "drops". He is often thoughtful, sometimes somewhat absent-minded. It can "gape" at a traffic light, dreamily looks out the window at work, etc. He often has erotic dreams. He sees (imagines) the woman he loves naked, mentally has sex with her, imagines how "in love" she is, fantasizes and dreams.

9. Life. A man in love begins to gradually "let" a woman into his life. Representatives of the strong half of humanity sooo value their independence and freedom. For the most part, these are proud, rather selfish individualists who react painfully to extraneous "invasion". Painfully reacting to external "intrusion" into personal space and any attempts to "restrict freedom." However, if the girl is really "hooked", he is ready to share his precious personal space and even let him "host" it. Both mentally and physically. Be careful with the latter because, to cook, wash clothes, clean the apartment, run the household - you will have time and this "holy" will not leave you anywhere later. Men very quickly get used to "everything good" and cease to appreciate. And you need to enter his life not as a housekeeper, but as a Wife, the most important and beloved person. A man in love can let a woman in deeper, far beyond his kitchen and bedroom. He is ready to open the doors of his soul and life. He can afford to change the furniture in his apartment and something in his habits. He won't mind even allowing "repairs" to be made, because he has already "opened all the doors". And apartments and souls. Gradually, he begins to get used to his beloved, introduces his parents and friends. This is real trust. He begins to "make plans", think about the future, creating a family, children. This behavior indicates a friend's serious intentions. Take note.

10. Victims. We just love, not in spite of, sometimes not realizing why. Serious relationship and living together require certain sacrifices, and on both sides. If a man is ready to “make concessions”, “sacrifice” something, sometimes very expensive, then he is clearly in love. However, the victim to the victim - strife. And everything must be reasonable. Demanding a professional boxer to quit a "dangerous activity" and do something "less traumatic" or an actress to leave her job so that "strange men don't stare" indicates selfishness and a clear lack of understanding of the situation. When you love a person, you try to accept him as he is, with all his "baggage". If a man immediately begins to "swing rights", radically change for the good, correct and educate for the sake of a bright future together, then you need to run headlong from him. Because he loves his own "Fiction". And he doesn't like it, he just loves it. Pygmalion first fashioned his Galatea, and then fell in love with her, but not vice versa. A sincerely in love man gives without expecting praise and approval. Not demanding anything in return. He is happy when the woman he loves is well. This testifies to the truth and true love. It would be nice if you appreciate it and give a similar response. A man in love will never offend and hurt the woman he loves. He values ​​her. People are different and everyone has a different upbringing. Tactlessness, misunderstanding, lack of delicacy can hurt. But, it is often "guilt without guilt." But conscious cruelty, pathological jealousy and rudeness, psychological and physical pressure should not be allowed. The saying “beats means loves” has become obsolete a long time ago. loving man protects, protects and cares for the beloved, but does not humiliate or hurt. Violence and love are incompatible! If a man "raised his hand", he will repeat this at regular intervals, holding his wife hostage to fear. Perhaps he loves in his own way, a pathological sick love. But nobody needs it. Nobody wants this kind of love. This is a trap, perhaps for life. And in order to get out of it, to get back on your feet, to "rise", "to take off" will take many years. An indicator of the seriousness of intentions and the sincerity of a man's feelings is his willingness to take responsibility for his beloved. And all further joint long life. A sincere desire to connect his fate with a woman, making her his wife, the mother of his children. To live in joy and in sorrow, as the old Truth says.

Well, that's all. Gradually, having studied all positions and having analyzed personal observations, you will begin to accurately determine the presence of men's love and even its degree. The main thing is knowledge, understanding and skillful application of the acquired knowledge. It will take quite a bit of time and you will be well versed in the representatives of the opposite sex. It is necessary to study the totality of actions and signs. There are many experienced male ladies' men who try to lure inexperienced girls and inexperienced women. Do not fall for the "bait"! Do not succumb to the "professional charm", hold the brand. Because wrong behavior can have a detrimental effect not only on your mood and the thickness of your wallet, but also on your entire future Life. And she is your one and only. And you are alone. Remember this. If a man starts to behave too "cheeky", quickly brings the distance closer, reduces the space - beware. You need to let him know that it's too early to "show tenderness." In fact, understanding men is not difficult. But now they are also smart, they read books, watch TV and know women well. In order to build harmonious relationships, knowledge alone is not enough, theory is not enough, skillful application in practice is necessary. This is Life. From which the theory is very different. They say that a woman should - "give", love, understand and care. This is true. But first of all, a woman should be able to “accept” and “apply”, love herself and the grace of the Almighty in herself, feel like the mistress of her life. Because then it hurts excruciatingly. Offended by life and men, the lady exclaims: “I gave everything to him! Oh, he is ungrateful, such-and-such, such-and-such!!!” And no one actually asked her to do it. Herself! It was a personal initiative, and waiting for gratitude is not a grateful thing. I'd say 50/50 is needed. Those. take care of your husband (understand, accept, cherish, cherish) and do not forget about yourself. Even, probably, 60 to 50, That's right, this is my opinion.

The editorial office of AiF received a letter from a frustrated 35-year-old Irene N. from Nizhny Novgorod: "Marvelous! Men themselves persuade a woman to have sex almost on the first date, saying: “We are adults, it will end with this anyway”, “Let's not think in standards”, “We are so drawn to each other, in life and there is so little good, why deprive yourself of joy?

And then they shed after the first night! And my friend, having achieved intimacy from me, now declares: “If you are with me like that, it means that you go to bed with everyone, having barely met!” Why was he in such a hurry to have sex with me then?!”

Despite the seeming frivolity of the question for many couples, he nevertheless became a stumbling block.

- A whole chapter in my book is devoted to the inconsistency of male desires! - says "aif" psychologist Anetta Orlova. - Most representatives of the stronger sex believe that they have a clear image of the ideal woman they are looking for in their head. But in fact, these are ... two images! The first ideal: a virtuous keeper of the hearth, a caring mother, a woman with a lot of moral values ​​who takes care of herself. When a man meets such a woman, it would seem that he should marry her as soon as possible! But ah! He quickly gets bored with such a lady. Because it turns out that another ideal woman "lives" in the man's head! This is a priestess of love, bright and sexy. Which is devoid of complexes, is in harmony with its body, is ready to give love and is open to sexual pleasures and experiments.

In the depths of his soul, a man dreams of meeting one that combines both holiness and depravity. Remember the saying: "The ideal woman: in bed - a prostitute, in the kitchen - a hostess, in society - a lady." And we, knowing these conflicting desires of a man, need to learn how to competently maneuver between them. For one thing, don't give up too quickly. On the other hand - do not overdo it, do not overdo the man. Because sex is still not an end in itself, not a prize, but one of the many ways in which adult men and women interact.

Pay off... with yourself?

So, what should the ladies do when the representatives of the stronger sex behave with them in the way that the reader Irina described ?!

When a man just meets attractive woman, his natural mechanism immediately works: to get in touch with her as soon as possible, to master, to know completely. During this period, he absolutely sincerely believes: physical intimacy is exactly what he needs now! He does not think then "leave" the woman and "accused of debauchery."

But, if almost at the second meeting he satisfies a deep need for rapprochement, he has doubts: “Somehow everything turned out too quickly ...” And he even experiences some disappointment: civilization is civilization, but no one canceled the hunter's instinct .. .

Today, the so-called "morning syndrome" is widespread: two almost strangers wake up in bed after a stormy night and, looking at each other, experience not yesterday's passion, but ... some kind of awkwardness. In terms of numbers, on a 10-point scale, their physical closeness has already reached 10, and emotional closeness - only 2-3 points. In such cases, it is difficult for a man to cope with embarrassment and he wants to run away. Therefore, after sex, a woman does not need to call first, and even more so blame him for "getting his own and gone." By doing this, you will not only not help the cause, but will further exacerbate men's doubts about continuing the relationship with you. Remember: if he took a break, your pressure can push him even more. But, if you already decide to call, communicate without any claims and anguish.

- It is desirable that a man invest something in a woman before he gets sex,- says Anetta Orlova. - In the biological environment, everything is clear: for a young male to receive the location of the female, he must bring her food. In our case, investments are not monetary investments, but emotional, temporary ones. A man should feel that he is conquering a woman.

By the way, it's a big problem when a girl enters into sexual relations not because she wants a man, but because she is uncomfortable to refuse. It seems to many that if a man invited her to a restaurant, she should pay with something. This is complete nonsense. And women also go for quick sex for fear of losing a fan. Hearing "I want you! Why postpone?”, the woman wants to please the man so that he does not go to another. This is also complete nonsense - you need to have sex when BOTH want it.

■ Don't take the masculine words "we like each other so much, why put it off" so literally. In fact, by offering sex, he doesn't count on it at all!

- Masculinity and sexuality are closely related, according to the representatives of the stronger sex, - says Anetta Orlova. - A man believes that if he goes on a date with a woman, it is simply his gallant duty to demonstrate that he wants intimacy. This rule is sacred in all cultures. So the man seems to say: “I want and I can. You're awesome, I like it." At the same time, a man, hinting at a woman about sex on a first date, does not at all think that he must get it today. He persuades just in case, suddenly it will work out. No - no big deal either.

■ Use improvised and often funny methods to prolong the courtship period.

- The easiest and, in addition, a win-win way is to make sure that under no circumstances will you yourself want to sleep with him says the psychologist. - How? For example, put on simple and diverse (from different sets) underwear! Or trousers, and under them - torn tights ... In such a situation, not a single self-respecting woman, even at the peak of arousal, would never allow physical intimacy, so as not to lose face. Or, going on a first date, you need to deliberately limit the time, they say, you have to go somewhere later. It is desirable to say something pleasant for male ears. Not "I'm going to pull out a tooth," but "on Fridays I have classes - belly dancing." Do not agree to "come for a minute to visit." Answer with humor: “Listen, we are adults and we understand what it means to “drink tea”. I like you, but I need time to get to know you."

And the last thing: if you did not follow all these recommendations and nevertheless rushed into the abyss of passion, then please, relax! No need to say in the middle of the process: "I'm not like that." Have fun. Men appreciate such women. ( See ideal #2.) Well, we'll talk about sexual experiments in one of the following issues.

20 years ago, American writers Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider collected advice on how a woman can get the man of her dreams in her best-selling book. Since then, the feminist movement has revived and strengthened, and such literature has received the label "sexist". However, the "New Rules" are still being reprinted and find many fans and followers. What is the secret?

Over the years, gurus Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider have analyzed the behavior of women who are happy in their personal lives - those who have many suitors, who are successfully married and have a happy marriage. Oprah Winfrey called their bestseller Rules for Winning the Heart of the Man of Your Dreams a phenomenon and twice invited the authors to her talk show. People magazine classified the book as a must-read, and glossy magazines named it the best publication on relationships. The authors assure: over the 20 years of the existence of the “Rules”, millions of women have been able to feel their absolute effectiveness. They got a relationship full of love and respect, which flowed into a happy and strong marriage. In the New Rules, female writers help modern women and girls to communicate via Facebook, Skype, SMS, etc. and at the same time remain mysterious, maintain the instinct of a hunter in a man when there are so many “easy prey” around him, get married in an era when everyone lives in civil marriages and are reluctant to take responsibility.

"Men love difficulties and lose interest when the object of this interest - and especially a woman - gets them too easily."

“Secret way to get a guy: be a challenge for him. Treat him like you don't care about him,” urge Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider. In their opinion, it is necessary to create an atmosphere of mystery and make a man crave meeting you, which is a rarity these days. “Rules” is a way of communicating with any man (provided that he first started a conversation with you, in person or on the Internet), thanks to which he becomes obsessed with you and is ready for a serious relationship.

How to Marry the Man of Your Dreams According to Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider

1. Be a girl different from the rest and look like a girl different from the rest.
2. Do not approach a man first and do not start a conversation, do not call or write to a man first.
3. Do not invite men on a date via SMS, social networks and in no other way.
4. Wait at least 4 hours before replying to the man's first message, and at least half an hour before replying to each subsequent message.
5. "Let's talk/write later": always finish everything first - and disappear from sight!
6. Do not reply to SMS or any other messages after midnight.
7. Do not accept an invitation to a Saturday date later than Wednesday. "Right Girls" lead rich life. Of course, you've already made plans for the weekend before it's Thursday! If he invites you too late, don't reprimand him. Just say you're sorry, but you're busy.
8. Stay away from his social media profiles and rarely write on his wall.
9. Make yourself "invisible" for instant messaging. Even if nothing is happening in your life, you should not notify the guy about it by instantly responding to his messages. As with any other form of communication, he should wait for an opportunity to talk to you. To be interesting to you, he will have to work hard. Do not deprive a man of this opportunity by immediately answering messages and sitting online for hours! Remember, you have your own life (study, work, friends, hobbies, workouts, and hopefully dates) and you only have 10 minutes to chat and no more. If a guy has a lot to say and a lot to ask you, he can do it during a date!
10. Don't spend 24 hours a day, seven days a week with him.
11. Long-distance relationships: let him offer to Skype more often and visit you.
12. Don't text men first, ignore emoticons and winks on online dating sites.
13. Do not pay for dinner and do not buy his love in any way.
14. Do not commit self-destructive acts when dating married men. If he wants to see you, tell him to call you when he is single. And after that, no communication, forget it, say "next!" - and focus on finding men who are truly free.
15. Don't date a man who cancels your appointments more than once.
16. Do not send a man anything that would be unpleasant to leave him in the event of your separation.
17. Don't settle for one-night stands and pointless relationships.
18. Do not rush to sleep with a man. The “right girl” makes a guy wait to help him fall in love with her, with her soul, with her essence – and not just with her body. The longer you delay intimacy, the longer he will be able to care for you, plan romantic meetings and dream about you. Men love challenges and don't appreciate anything that comes too easy for them, especially sex!
19. Don't date a man without commitment! If your relationship lasts more than a year and at the same time they are “correct” (you allowed the man to “chase you”, met him no more than 2-3 times a week, refused to spend vacations with him, did not move to live with him), then most helped him fall in love with you and want to marry. A man wants to see you more and more. But if, after a year of relationship, the man did not offer to marry him, you should tell him that you are an old-fashioned girl and are not going to meet anyone forever. If he starts making excuses, offer to take a break from the relationship. Ask him to think it over alone and call when he's ready to commit.
20. Stop dating a man if he didn't give you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentine's Day, or if he forgot about these dates altogether.

The truth can be very bitter, but a toxic relationship is definitely not what you want. It is better to find yourself a worthy partner who will not use you only for sex. Some of the behaviors we will discuss below will help you determine if your suspicions are correct.

Steps

Pay attention to when he contacts you

Does he only contact you after dark? If your boyfriend only calls you when the sun goes down and stars appear in the sky, it's probably not because he's in the mood for stargazing. He's set up for something completely different. If he calls you only at night, if he is not a doctor with a crazy work schedule, then it is likely that he only has sex on his mind.

Does he only talk to you on weekdays? If he only craves socializing on weeknights but you hardly ever hear from him on the weekends, that's a sure sign that the weekends are reserved for his #1 option, or for the woman he thinks is actually worth the attention. If he disappears on Fridays or Saturdays, but on Tuesday he is always free for you, then he only needs you for sex.

Does he contact you only occasionally? If he shows up once or twice a week, doesn't ask you out, and at those times he can't wait to come, it's because he wants you exclusively for sex. If you want to meet him, but he is always busy for a whole week, and then he suddenly calls at midnight on Wednesday, it is very likely that there can be no talk of any love - he only needs sex.

Does he only talk to you when it's convenient for him? If the question: "How was your day?" or “How is your difficult test?” - he will not answer anything, which means that he is completely in no mood to maintain small talk. But if one night you tell him: “I want to see you,” and hear him put his foot on the gas pedal, you have problems.

Is he always busy? Having a busy schedule is quite normal in modern world. But if your guy can't make time for dinner and movies, but he can always make time for sex, then the truth is, he's not busy, he just wants to appear that way. If you know that he has time to meet friends, go to a sporting event and watch TV for hours with his brother, but he is too busy for you to go to a cafe on Sunday afternoon, then he simply does not want to spend on you time.

Does he never invite you anywhere? If he regularly comes to you for love pleasures or arranges foreplay only on his couch, then he really does not want anything but your body. He may invite you to dinner from time to time, but he only does it to keep you. But if you feel like you'll never see outside world with him, then most likely he does not want you to be part of his daily life.

Pay attention to what you do together

Do you never talk about your personal life? If all you have is talk about sex or how you want each other, then your relationship is all about sex. Yes, many relationships start like this - partners are obsessed with each other, often have sex and talk about sex. But if it goes on for a long time and you have not progressed beyond love pleasures, then your relationship will no longer be able to be deeper than it is now.

• Ask him what he thinks, feels, what interests him, and look at his reaction. If he immediately retreats, then you have a problem.

1. Everything he does is about sex? All you do is have sex? Do you do anything else together? Go to the movies, theater, restaurants, dance classes... anything? Or is sex all you do with each other? Does he insist on positions and forms of sexual activity that are uncomfortable for you? If the development of sexual relations is the only topic of interest to him in your society, then he needs you only for love pleasures and nothing more.

   • Even if everyone is not in literally so, you have to trust your intuition.

2. Notice how quickly he leaves after making love. Stay overnight or never? If yes, then you are one of his nightly activities, not the love of his life. If he gives you a casual kiss and then starts packing up his clothes, then he doesn't want to spend the night with you or he'll feel like you're in a real relationship. And if he always comes up with a convenient excuse to leave, then that's even worse.

   • Of course, he can tell you that he needs to get up early tomorrow, but then why is he not too lazy to come to you at one in the morning?

3. Does he only kiss you before sex? In most relationships, a kiss is a quick and pleasant way to show your love and closeness. People kiss while walking, in a dark bar, at the movies, or on a Monday morning, all out of a desire to just kiss. If every time you kiss your boyfriend, he starts to touch your private parts, then it is very likely that he only wants sex; for him, kisses are the beginning of love pleasures.

   • Pay attention to his level of affection. Does he ever want to just snuggle up to you or hug you for no reason? If not, he probably only wants sex.

4. Do you never talk to his friends? Have you been having sex for several months and still haven't seen any of his friends? Does he hang out with his friends all the time without you and never invite you to join them? There may be several reasons for this: he is too shy to tell everyone around about your relationship; he does not want to invest in your relationship; he is a womanizer and loves to flirt with other girls, so he simply does not need you around.

Pay attention to what he says

Does he share personal information? Men who use women for sex often give little information about themselves. With such guys, you can only learn about them from friends, from personal observations and general conversations. Does he tell you anything about himself? This says a lot, so it's worth thinking about it.

Pay attention to how he behaves when you talk about yourself. How quickly does he get bored when you discuss your work, hobbies, your activities, and general daily problems? He stops the discussion and interrupts it with the phrase "how about lie down on the couch"? If so, he may give the appearance that he is tired of the emotional tangles and wants to disengage from them without any sense of guilt. Sometimes these guys take on the role of a psychologist, give advice, but never share their problems and joys so as not to involve you in their life.

Is he interested in your well-being? Have you ever heard him ask why you are upset, what was your day like, or why were you crying? If it seems to you that he is completely indifferent to your emotions, then the reason is probably not in his awkwardness or shyness, but in the fact that he simply does not care. If he needs you only for sex, then any of your complex and confusing feelings will be an obstacle for him and nothing more.

Does he tell you he doesn't want a relationship? Many women do not want to see what is right in front of their eyes, even if they hear it. If he told you that he is looking for casual acquaintances, that he does not have time for anything serious, or that he is simply not made for a serious relationship, then he probably meant it. You may have brushed it off, thought he was just trying to play, or were convinced you would change him. If he told you that he was not interested in anything more serious than sex, then you need to reconsider your relationship.

Does he talk to you about your future together? You've been together for a few months but still haven't talked about what you'll be doing for the next two, let alone next summer? If you have been talking for more than a year, but have not taken steps to come to something more serious, then you are probably only a temporary companion for him, and not a life partner.

All he talks about is sex? Is he interested in emotional discussions about feelings? Does he discuss where your relationship is heading? Or is he more interested in you buying new lingerie or driving to the pharmacy this morning for more condoms?

Look for other signs

Pay attention to the phone, especially if it rings when it is near you. If he comes in and his phone keeps ringing and he keeps looking at it and then closes it, it might be because the ladies are calling him 24 hours a day. If he talks, and as soon as you enter the room, abruptly puts away the phone, then you are clearly not the only girl in his life. And if he never leaves his phone unattended even for a second, then it may be because he doesn't want you to see his voluptuous correspondence with others.

Check out all the girls on his social media pages. See who he is friends with on Facebook, VKontakte and so on. Check his profile - perhaps on the wall of one of the social networks (or each!) You will find tons of messages from other girls that he flirts with all over the Internet; perhaps there you will find dozens of photos with him, where he is drunk and surrounded by barely dressed women. If so, now you know where he goes when he's out of your sight for five days, and it's not just because he's had a crazy week at work.

Pay attention to warnings. Have other women warned you to stay away from him? Maybe there were friends who said that he was a womanizer and that he would never be your boyfriend? Unless you think that you can pacify and change him, then this is an alarming sign - it's time for you to say goodbye to him without delay. Do not think that you are different, or that these women do not know what they are talking about. If you've heard this from several people, then it's most likely true.

Are your relationships progressing? Has your relationship changed in six months? Have you met his friends? Have you discussed the coming months of life? Do you go shopping together? Do you do anything together, like all normal people? If he is in no hurry to confess his love, this is normal. But even if he rarely says the phrase “I really like you”, then you are not moving forward, because he sees only a toy in you.

1. Listen to your intuition. Wake up! Even if you view your relationship as possible, your sixth sense is trying to warn you otherwise. Look around and assess the situation. How does this situation make you feel? Are you happy? Are you satisfied with the relationship? If not, it's time to think about whether to continue them.

   • You know what? There are still a lot of fish in the sea, and there are beautiful guys in the world. Appreciate yourself - "find" your self-esteem, "put" it back where it was, awaken self-respect and stick to physical health, emotional sanity and pure reason.