Types of psychological counseling

Traditionally, in psychological counseling, the following types are distinguished (the criterion for distinguishing is the focus of psychological counseling on the spheres of a person's life):

· Individual psychological counseling;

· Family psychological counseling;

· Group psychological counseling;

Professional (career) psychological counseling;

· Multicultural psychological counseling.

business consulting

Business consulting is one of the most common types of psychological counseling. It, in turn, has as many varieties as there are various cases and activities for people. In general, such consulting is called business consulting, which is associated with the solution of business problems by people. For example, this includes issues of choosing a profession, improving and developing a person’s abilities, organizing his work, increasing efficiency, and conducting business negotiations.

Career counseling has flourished in recent decades due to advances in the theory and practice of assessment, and a growing demand for this service in an increasingly complex economy. Whereas early vocation tests attempted to determine what type of work suits a particular individual based on their skills and abilities, today's assessment of professional opportunities includes an examination of not only skills, but also interests of a person. Moreover, its goal is to correlate the career aspirations of the individual with his interests and abilities, as well as to establish the correspondence of his temperament certain types activities. Career counseling uses modern, evolving approaches to lifelong career planning.

Intimate-personal and family counseling

This type includes counseling on such issues that deeply affect a person as a person, cause him strong feelings, usually carefully hidden from people around him. These are, for example, problems such as psychological or behavioral deficiencies that a person would like to get rid of; problems related to his personal relationship with important people; various fears, failures, psychogenic illnesses that do not require the intervention of a doctor, and much more. This also includes the deep dissatisfaction of a person with himself, the problems of intimate, for example, sexual relations.

Intimate-personal counseling usually requires a trusting relationship between the consultant and the client that is closed to outsiders and at the same time open to communication. Such psychological counseling requires the creation of a special environment, as confession reminds. This type of counseling, by the very nature of the problems it directly concerns, cannot be episodic or short-lived. It presupposes, firstly, a great psychological pre-adjustment for him by both the counseling psychologist and the client himself; secondly, a long and, as a rule, difficult conversation between a consultant psychologist and a client; thirdly, usually a long enough period to solve the client's problem. The latter is due to the fact that most problems of an intimate-personal nature are not immediately solved.

The purpose of this type of counseling is to help people get through various life difficulties, prevent the development of serious disorders, improve personality functioning, and increase life satisfaction.

Counseling psychologists work with couples (married or unmarried), families and children, helping them overcome difficulties in close relationships, including communication problems, facilitating conflict resolution, counseling on parenting, intimacy and mutual trust.

Problems related to family counseling arise in people so often and have their own characteristics that in the current this moment time the practice of psychological counseling stood out its special direction - family counseling.

The main issues related to the conduct of such counseling can be divided into the following subgroups:

1. The relationship of the client with his future spouse.

2. Relationships between spouses in an already established family.

3. The relationship of the spouses with their own parents and the parents of the other spouse.

4. The relationship of parents and children in the same family.

In each of the general cases corresponding to the selected subgroups of issues, several particular issues can be distinguished, which, in turn, may include both business and personal relationships of people in the family, as well as relationships between specific individuals in the family.

Family counseling requires the consultant psychologist to know the essence of family problems, ways to resolve them, preferably on their own experience of family life. It is unlikely that people who did not have or do not have a family can engage in family counseling. As quite probable, the opposite can also be assumed: a person who himself has repeatedly tried to create or save a family, but he has not succeeded, can hardly become a good psychologist-consultant on family issues. His personal experience, if it can be useful to other people in some way, is most likely in a negative way.

At the same time, it should be noted that in this and in other similar cases, one's own experience is necessary in order to become a good consultant psychologist. A person who has a negative life experience of family relationships could well tell other people about what should be avoided in family life, but not about what needs to be done in order to save the family and improve intra-family relations.

However, there may be exceptions to this rule. In psychological practice, there are many cases when psychologists-advisers on family issues - and not bad ones - became people who themselves repeatedly failed in family life.

Psychological and pedagogical consultation

Psychological and pedagogical counseling can include a discussion by a consultant with a client of the issues of educating and raising children, teaching something and improving the pedagogical qualifications of adults, pedagogical guidance, managing children's and adult groups and teams. Psychological and pedagogical counseling includes the issues of improving programs, methods and teaching aids, the psychological justification of pedagogical innovations, and a number of others.

In the practice of psychological counseling, the most common variants of problems related to the relationship between parents and children. Problems can arise between parents and children of primary school age.

Parents of adolescent children often turn to a psychologist for advice. They may experience the following problems:

Conflicts that often arise between a teenager and parents on a variety of occasions;

Adolescents behave provocatively, do not fulfill their duties at home, do not fulfill parental requirements; - it seems to parents that the teenager is hiding something from them, often spends time outside the home; avoids communication with parents; - a teenager is not interested in anything serious, from the point of view of his parents, and does not want to engage in his development.

Older children can also cause problems. According to parents, they are friends with the wrong peers, they want to enter the wrong university. Interpersonal problems in remarriages of parents and divorces, the presence of children from another marriage in a new marriage of one of the parents, etc.

Psychological and pedagogical counseling assumes that the consultant has pedagogical education and experience in teaching and educating people. Good psychologists-consultants usually become, for example, former teachers and educators with experience pedagogical work and related education.

Introduction. 3

1. Definition of an advisory contact. 7

2. Psychological counseling and its types.. 16

Conclusion. eighteen

Literature. 19

Introduction

In the most general form, psychological assistance in psychological dictionaries is interpreted as the professional assistance of a psychologist in resolving the psychological problems of a client.

With greater detail, this concept is specified in another reference publication on psychology: "Psychological assistance is the type of assistance that a qualified psychologist provides to a person or a group of people in optimizing psychophysiological states, cognitive processes, behavior, communication, the implementation of individual and especially group activities."

Personally, the definition of the British Association of Counseling Psychologists is closer and better reflects my view of psychological assistance: "Psychological counseling is a specific relationship between two people in which one person (the consultant) helps another person (the client) help himself. This is a way of communication that allows a person (client) to explore their feelings, thoughts and behaviors to come to a clearer understanding of themselves, and then discover and use their strengths, drawing on internal resources to better manage their lives through making adequate decisions and taking targeted actions.

Although, of course, the definition of psychological assistance cannot but depend on the psychological approach, the duration of the proposed consultation, the level and number of participants in the process, as well as many other factors. This leads to the idea of ​​the desirability of the most complete consideration and reflection of these factors in all their completeness and diversity, of their systematization, i.e. - to the need to create a classification of types of psychological assistance.

The provision of psychological assistance in the psychological paradigm requires a transition from a classification based on the phenomenon of the disease (medical paradigm) to a proper psychological classification of human problems. The study of the main types of psychological assistance, as well as methods of work, leads to the conclusion that at the moment and most likely in the near future, a single basis for classification is unlikely to be found. The reason for this is the variety existing species, types and forms, levels, as well as schools of psychological assistance. It is difficult to imagine how they can be combined into any limited number of groups, taking into account factors such as the following:

Some confusion of understanding, confusion of the concepts of "type", "form", "level", etc. This happens, again, due to various definitions and understanding of psychological assistance by different authors, their attribution of one or another concept to the "kind", "type" or "form" of assistance. In addition, a different volume and content is attached to the same specific concept, different significance, specific gravity, impact on the mental sphere of the patient.

It is impossible to single out all the grounds for classification, since the range of psychological assistance provided is currently very wide, and most importantly, it continues to form, deepen and expand. There is both integration and separation of methods, the selection of some methods from others. There are also completely new methods, techniques and techniques, practical research and theoretical developments are being carried out. Therefore, there are big problems with the operational systematization, and, in fact, with the creation of any systematization that claims to cover all types of psychological assistance.

One and the same type of psychological assistance can be classified either in different groups for various reasons, or it can fall into two or more classes at the same time, or it can not be included in any of them at all. Thus, emergency psychological assistance can be provided within the framework of various schools, but it is hardly applicable, for example, the art therapy approach. Emergency assistance can be provided both in the form of an individual consultation (in person, by telephone helpline, etc.), and in a group form (usually when providing assistance to victims of disasters, terrorist attacks, and other mass psychotraumatic events), but it is difficult to imagine ( although theoretically possible) emergency assistance in the form of psychological assistance to the family, due to the short-term impact and the focus of this type of assistance on relieving the consequences of a specific stressful impact. The issue of emergency clients is a problem that has arisen from the impact of a stressful situation, and not a problem of relationships.

Therefore, we have to make a general conclusion that at present it is not possible to find an exhaustive classification of the types of psychological assistance. First, there is no single criterion for species selection, and, apparently, it cannot be found in the near future. And, consequently, there is no exhaustive list of types - even if the concept of "type" also includes the concepts of "type", "form", "level" and so on. - psychological help.

But to explore and develop further this topic is interesting, important and necessary for understanding theoretical aspects psychological assistance, for its definition, understanding of its content, the main differences and specifics of each specific type. And this is one of the main goals and objectives of psychological assistance and psychology as a science in general - better assistance to a person, a better understanding of the client's request.

All types and forms of psychological assistance have some common features, as well as their differences and characteristic features. But they have a common goal - to help and support the individual in the process of its formation and development, to rid a person of what prevents him from being happy and harmonious in the world around him.

1. Definition of an advisory contact

In 1975, S. Rogers (quoted in: Gelso, Fretz, 1992) asked the question: "Can it be argued that there are necessary and sufficient conditions that contribute to positive personality changes that could be clearly defined and measured?" He answered this question himself, naming six conditions:

1. Two persons are in psychological contact.

2. The first character, let's call him "client", is in a state of mental disorder, vulnerable and anxious.

3. The second character, let's call him a "consultant", actively participates in communication.

4. The consultant has unconditional respect for the client.

5. The counselor experiences empathy by taking the client's point of view and making it clear to him.

6. Empathic understanding and unconditional respect of the consultant are transferred to the client even with minimal expression.

No other conditions are required. If these six conditions are met for a certain period of time, that is sufficient. Positive personality changes will occur.

So, the client must be in contact with the consultant and come into a state that makes him sensitive to outside help. Particularly important are the 3rd, 4th and 5th conditions, which provide sufficient consultative contact for help.

Confidential contact between the consultant and the client, based on unconditional respect, empathy, warmth and sincerity of the consultant in relation to the client, is an integral, and according to many professionals, an essential component of psychological counseling and psychotherapy.

Counseling contact, although outwardly it seems formal and very short in comparison with the entire life of the client, is nevertheless closer, more intense and deeper than any other interpersonal connection. In counseling, the client turns to to a stranger and reveals to him the smallest details of his personal life, which, perhaps, no one else knows. What a client tells often does not present him in the best light. Sometimes, in the process of counseling, new aspects of the personality “emerge” that surprise, upset, and even shock the client himself. All this makes the consultative contact an intimate relationship between two people, and specifically intimate, unlike the usual friendship or love relationship.

Advisory contact is a unique dynamic process during which one person helps another to use their internal resources to develop in a positive direction and actualize the potential for a meaningful life (George, Cristiani, 1990).

Advisory contact- these are the feelings and attitudes that the participants in counseling (the consultant and the client - Note. ed.) experience one in relation to the other, and the way they are expressed (Gelso and Carter, 1985).

Virtually all definitions point to several unique features of the consultative contact. George and Cristiani (1990) identified six main parameters:

Emotionality (advisory contact is more emotional than cognitive, it involves the study of the experiences of clients);

Intensity (since the contact represents a sincere relationship and a mutual exchange of experiences, it cannot but be intense);

dynamism (when the client changes, the specifics of the contact also change);

Confidentiality (the obligation of the consultant not to disclose information about the client contributes to trust);

providing support (constant support of the consultant ensures the stability of the contact, allowing the client to take risks and try to behave in a new way);

· conscientiousness.

Psychoanalytic direction - The consultant maintains personal anonymity so that the client can freely project his feelings onto him. The focus is on reducing the resistance that arises when analyzing the client's transference reactions and establishing more rational control. The counselor interprets the material supplied by the client and seeks to teach the client to relate his present behavior to past events.

The review and analysis of foreign literature on the problem of counseling allows us to identify the following main areas of application of psychological assistance:

1. Mental (and spiritual) development of the child (overcoming the Oedipus complex / Electra complex, satisfaction of emotional needs in gaining personal identity, help with emotional trauma and development of stable moral standards, etc.).

2. Existential and personal problems of a teenager (crisis of psychological separation from parents, identification of a teenager, etc.)

3. Marriage and family (premarital counseling, family and marital psychotherapy, psychological assistance to unmarried and unmarried, divorced, remarriage support).

4. Issues of mental and personal health (traditional preventive and current care for mental and somatic illness, mental suffering, alcoholism, conflicts, etc.).

5. Psychological assistance to the dying and psychotherapy of grief (an almost completely absent sphere of psychological activity in Russia).

6. Problems of the elderly.

7. Places of detention, hospitals, barracks, college campuses (personality problems, general mental state).

8. Psychological help and support in crisis situations (sudden death, suicide attempt, rape, betrayal, loss of love, etc.).

9. School counseling.

10. Student counseling.

11. Career guidance counseling.

12. Psychological assistance related to cross-cultural issues: problems in adaptation, overcoming ethical prejudices and stereotypes among emigrants, support for consultants in working with ethnic minorities.

13. Management consulting.

Types of psychological assistance

According to the competent opinion of Lydia Berngardovna Schneider, psychological assistance can be classified according to different indicators (criteria):

1. By duration:

- urgent- necessary for complex mental states, the possibility of suicide, cases of violence, etc. This most often refers to the competence of the helpline, helpline, emergency psychological assistance services;

- long- useful in the event of difficult life situations, psychological crises, conflicts (systemic psychological consultations);

2. Directionality:

- straight- aimed directly at the client, at his request for help;

- responding- response to the current situation and appeals of people from the client's environment;

- proactive- in response to a predicted unfavorable situation for a person. Often found in the psychological service of the family.

3. By spatial organization:

- contact when the client's conversation with the psychologist takes place face to face;

— distant, which is subdivided into telephone and Internet;

4. According to the performance of functions by a psychologist:

― diagnostic- making a psychological diagnosis psychological portrait individuality;

― control room- sending to the right specialist: specialized psychologist-consultant, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, etc.;

— informational- collection of information about the client, his family, surrounding people, social conditions;

― correctional is a system of measures aimed at correcting the shortcomings of psychology or human behavior with the help of special means psychological impact;

― advisory- this is direct psychological work with people, aimed at solving various kinds of problems associated, in many respects, with difficulties in interpersonal relationships;

- therapeutic- for the purpose of treating behavioral disorders or disease states by psychological means, using techniques available to patients, with a very specific goal and on the basis of the theory of normal and abnormal behavior;

― psychiatric- assistance to mentally ill people - diagnosis, treatment, rehabilitation, work with family members where there are mentally ill people.

5. By the number of participants:

― individual- when, for personal, social or public reasons, a group form is not possible and is not acceptable, for example, with emotional and sensory problems of an intimate and personal nature;

- group- the emphasis is on the developmental, training program of skills, the group form is also used if necessary for the socio-psychological support of participants;

6. By the intervention of a psychologist:

— directive- indicating, "giving advice" on how to live;

- non-directive- “going” for the client, “indulging” his personality.

The scheme of the consultant's activity in general looks like this::

problem identification → diagnosis → fact analysis → intervention plan → counseling intervention → evaluation of the results of the joint activities of the consultant and client.

The classification of psychological counseling can be approached based on different criteria. So, taking as a classification criterion, first of all, age, we must, first of all, consider the age periodization adopted in Russia :

- infancy (from birth to 1 year);

- pre-preschool or early childhood (1-3 years);

– preschool childhood (3-6 years);

– junior school age (6-10 years);

- adolescence (10 - 15 years);

- youth: I period (senior school age or early youth - 15 - 17 years old), II period (late youth - 17 - 21 years old);

– middle (mature) age : I period (21 - 35 years - early and late youth), II big period (35 - 60 years - maturity, late maturity);

- old age (60 - 75 years);

- senile age or old age (75 - 90 years);

- centenarians or age of centenarians or decrepit age (90 years and above).

It should be noted that the category of age used in counseling can mean two different things. Firstly, indicate the age of the client, Secondly, the age of the person about whom the client applied. Counseling a child under the age of 15 is almost meaningless : he cannot yet be fully responsible for himself and be a socially and professionally productive person. Moreover, the personality itself is not yet fully systemically formed, and, therefore, not advisory, but psychotherapeutic or psycho-correctional assistance is applicable to children. In old age, counseling loses its effectiveness every year, as the needs corresponding to age and the personality itself change, a person can less and less be responsible for himself, his own productivity is lower and lower.

Age (in psychology) is a conceptual content category that serves to designate the temporal characteristics of individual development. Age(in the most general sense) - the period of time, starting from the birth of an individual and up to this particular time point (chronological age). The chronological framework and features of each age are not static, but dynamic; they are determined by the action of socio-historical factors, the needs of society, i.e. - so-called. the social order of society. Unlike chronological age, which expresses the duration of the existence of an individual from the moment of his birth, the concept of psychological age denotes a certain, qualitatively unique stage of ontogenetic development, determined by the laws of the formation of the organism, living conditions, training and education and having a cultural and historical origin. Age characterized by those specific tasks of mastering the forms of culture that are solved by a developing person, as well as by qualitatively new types of activity and the corresponding psychological neoplasms that arise at a given stage of development and determine the consciousness of a person, his attitude towards himself and to the world around him as a whole. Each age period is studied taking into account general development trends, taking into account the characteristics of the previous and subsequent ages. Each age has development reserves that can be mobilized in the process of a child’s activity specially organized by an adult, or activated by the personality itself (according to David Iosifovich Feldshtein).

In the psychotherapeutic encyclopedia, edited by B.D. Karvasarsky described the following types of psychological counseling:

1. Problem-based counseling. The semantic emphasis here is on behavior modification, analysis of the external causes of the problem. The goal of working with a client is to form and strengthen the client's ability to act appropriately to the situation, to master techniques that improve self-control. Many significant techniques used in this direction are taken from behavioral therapy.

2. Person-centered counseling. This kind of counseling is centered on the analysis of individual, personal causes of the problem, the process of forming destructive personal stereotypes, and preventing similar problems in the future. The consultant here fundamentally refrains from advice and organizational assistance, as this leads away from the internal, underlying causes of the problem. Many techniques used within this direction are taken from numerous psychoanalytic and post-psychoanalytic currents of Western psychotherapy. First of all, this should include the techniques of Gestaltherapy, humanistic psychotherapy.

3. Solution-oriented consulting. The substantive emphasis here is on activating the client's own resources to solve the problem. Representatives of this approach draw attention to the fact that the analysis of the causes of the problem inevitably leads to increased feelings of guilt in the client, which is an obstacle to cooperation between the psychologist-consultant and the client. Many of the techniques used in this approach are taken from short-term positive therapy.

In addition, the types of psychological counseling can be distinguished according to the nature of the tasks to be solved: age-psychological, vocational ("professional"), psychological-pedagogical, family and other types of psychological counseling.

APPENDIX No. 9

The scientific concept of "theory"

Let's take a look concept "theory" in principle, as such, generalized. THEORY(English - theory), in a broad sense, is an integral set of formalized rational views and representations aimed at interpreting and explaining a phenomenon (phenomenon). Theory is an extended form of organization of scientific knowledge , which gives a holistic view of the basic laws of a certain area of ​​reality (the sphere of the surrounding world). Target any theories- the creation of detailed and reliable knowledge about the most significant connections and patterns of reality. Theory as a form of cognitive development of the world by a person functions in the system culture along with other forms of scientific knowledge (hypotheses, classifications, typologies, laws, patterns), and as the most complete of them. AT structure any theories usually single out a number of main components : 1) the empirical basis data ; 2) theoretical basis - postulates, principles or axioms; 3) rules of inference (derivation) of the main provisions - a set of rules (logical premises) of inference and proof recognized as acceptable within the framework of each given theory; 4) internal and external assessments of the scope of applicability - clearly identified (identified) prerequisites for the application of the theory; 5) a set of statements derived within the framework of this particular theory, put forward by the theory as predictive and subject to verification (verification). AT modern science formation theories usually follows the path of nomination and selection (selection) of time-tested theoretical models ("formulas") that explain certain aspects of a particular field of knowledge. Development theories goes not only along the path of advancing and proving the consequences of the axioms according to the established rules of inference, but also by revising and clarifying all the components (elements) included in its structure. All of the listed components of any real scientific and practical theory fully relate to the theories of psychological counseling that have proven themselves on a global scale, for example, to the client-centered approach of K. Rogers discussed above (to the so-called Rogerian psychotherapy).

APPENDIX No. 10

“Modern ideas of basic psychological (psychotherapeutic) trends and schools (fundamental theories)

Psychological counseling is a relatively new professional area of ​​psychological practice, which is a kind of psychological assistance. This trend is rooted in psychotherapy and is aimed at a clinically healthy individual who cannot overcome everyday difficulties on his own. In other words, the key task of this technique lies in helping individuals to find a way out of the current problematic circumstances over which they are unable to defeat without outside help, to recognize and change ineffective behavioral patterns for making life-changing decisions, resolving current life difficulties, achieving their goals. . According to the target area, the tasks of psychological counseling are divided into corrective effects, and tasks aimed at achieving personal growth, self-development and life success by the client.

Fundamentals of psychological counseling

Counseling is a set of activities aimed at helping the subject in resolving everyday problems and making life-changing decisions, for example, regarding family and marriage, professional growth, and the effectiveness of interpersonal interaction.

The purpose of this method of psychological support is to help individuals to comprehend what is happening on their life path and achieving the intended goal, based on conscious choice in the course of resolving emotional problems and interpersonal difficulties.

All definitions of psychological counseling are similar to each other and include several important positions.

Psychological counseling contributes to:

- the conscious choice of the individual to act according to his own discretion;

— learning new behavior;

- personal development.

The core of this method is considered to be the “consultative interaction” between the specialist and the subject. The emphasis is on the responsibility of the individual, in other words, counseling recognizes that an independent and responsible person is able to make and make decisions under certain conditions, and the task of the consultant is to create conditions that encourage volitional behavior of the individual.

The goals of psychological counseling are borrowed from various psychotherapeutic concepts. So, for example, the followers of the psychoanalytic trend see the task of counseling in transforming information repressed into the unconscious into conscious images, helping the client to recreate early experience and analyze repressed conflicts, and restore the basic personality.

Predetermining the goals of psychological counseling is not easy, since the goal depends on the client's needs and the theoretical orientation of the consultant himself. The following are some of the universal tasks of counseling that are mentioned by practitioners of various schools:

— contribute to the transformation of behavioral reactions for a more productive life of the client, increasing the level of life satisfaction even in the presence of some indispensable social restrictions;

- develop the ability to overcome difficulties in the course of collisions with new everyday circumstances and conditions;

— to ensure the effective adoption of important decisions;

- develop the ability to make contacts and maintain interpersonal relationships;

- facilitate the growth of personal potential and.

Psychological counseling approaches are characterized by a common systemic model that combines six successive stages.

The first step is to investigate the problems. The psychologist establishes contact (report) with the individual and achieves mutually directed trust: the psychologist carefully listens to the client, who tells about his everyday difficulties, expresses maximum empathy, utmost sincerity, care, does not resort to evaluation and manipulative techniques. The counselor should choose a rewarding tactic that promotes in-depth consideration of the client's problems, and note his feelings, the content of the remarks, non-verbal behavioral reactions.

At the next stage, a two-dimensional definition of the problem situation occurs. The consultant aims to accurately characterize the client's problem, emphasizing both emotional and cognitive aspects. At this stage, problematic issues are clarified until the client and the psychologist see and understand them in the same way. Problems formulate specific concepts, which allow us to comprehend their causes, and in addition, often indicate possible ways to resolve them. If there are ambiguities and difficulties in identifying problems, then you should return to the previous stage.

The third stage is the identification of alternatives. It identifies and discusses potential solutions to problems. The consultant, using open questions, encourages the subject to list all possible alternatives that he finds suitable and real, helps to find additional options, while not imposing his own solutions. During the conversation, it is recommended to draw up a list of alternatives in writing to facilitate their comparison and comparison. It is necessary to find such options for solving the problematic issue that the subject could apply directly.

The fourth stage is planning. It is a critical evaluation of the selected alternatives. The counselor helps the subject understand which options presented are appropriate and appear to be realistic based on previous experience and current readiness for change. Drawing up a strategy for a realistic solution to difficult situations is also aimed at not gaining an understanding by the client that not all difficulties can be solved: some of them require the expenditure of a temporary resource, others can be partially resolved by reducing their destructive and disorganizing impact. At this stage, it is recommended, in the aspect of problem solving, to foresee by what methods and means the subject will be able to check the realism of the solution preferred by him.

The fifth stage is the activity itself, that is, the consistent implementation of the planned strategy for solving problems takes place. The psychologist helps the client to build activities, taking into account the circumstances, emotional and time costs, as well as the possibility of failure in achieving goals. must realize that a partial failure does not yet become a complete failure, therefore, one should continue to implement a strategy for resolving difficulties, directing all actions towards the ultimate goal.

The last step is to evaluate and provide feedback. The subject, together with the psychologist at this stage, evaluates the degree of achievement of the goal (that is, the level of problem resolution) and sums up the results achieved. If necessary, it is possible to refine and refine the solution strategy. In the case of new or discovery of deeply hidden problems, you should return to the previous stages.

The described model reflects the content of the consultation process and helps to better understand how a particular consultation proceeds. In practice, the consultation process is much more extensive and often not always guided by this algorithm. In addition, the allocation of stages or stages is conditional, since in practice some stages are connected with others, and their interdependence is much more complicated than that presented in the described model.

Types of psychological counseling

Due to the fact that people belonging to different age categories, free and in relationships, characterized by the presence of a variety of problems, need psychological assistance, psychological counseling is divided into types depending on the problem situations of clients and their individual characteristics, namely individual psychological, group, family, psychological and pedagogical, professional (business) and multicultural counseling.

First of all, individual psychological counseling (intimate-personal) is singled out. Individuals turn to this type of counseling on issues that deeply affect them as a person, provoking their strongest experiences, often carefully hidden from the surrounding society. Such problems, for example, include psychological disorders or behavioral shortcomings that the subject wants to eliminate, difficulties in personal relationships with loved ones or other significant persons, all kinds of failures, psychogenic diseases that require medical attention, deep dissatisfaction with oneself, problems in intimate sphere.

Individual psychological counseling simultaneously requires a consultant-client relationship closed from outsiders and a trusting, open relationship for interaction between them. This type of counseling should be carried out in a special setting, since it often resembles a confession. Also, it cannot be episodic or short-term, due to the content of the problems it is aimed at solving. First of all, individual counseling involves a large psychological preliminary adjustment of the psychologist and the client himself to the process, then a long and often difficult conversation between the consultant and the subject, after which there comes a long period of searching for a way out of the difficulties described by the client and directly solving the problem. The last stage is the longest, since most of the problematic issues of an intimate-personal orientation are not immediately resolved.

A variation of this type of counseling is age-related psychological counseling, which includes issues of mental development, features of education, principles of teaching children of various age subgroups. The subject of such counseling is the dynamics of the development of the child's and adolescent psyche at a certain age stage of formation, as well as the content of mental development, which is a significant difference from other types of counseling. Age-related psychological counseling solves the problem of systematic monitoring of the formation of children's mental functions for optimization and timely correction.

Group counseling is aimed at self-development and growth of participants in the process, liberation from everything that gets in the way of self-improvement. The advantages of the described type of psychological assistance over individual counseling include:

- team members can learn their own style of relationships with the environment and acquire more effective social skills, in addition, they have the opportunity to conduct experiments with alternative forms of behavioral response;

- clients can discuss their own perception of others and receive information about their perception of the group and individual participants;

- the team reflects, in some way, the environment familiar to its members;

- as a rule, groups offer participants understanding, assistance and assistance, which increases the determination of participants to study and resolve problem situations.

Family counseling involves the provision of assistance in matters relating to the client's family and relationships in it, relating to interaction with other close environment. For example, if an individual is worried about the upcoming choice of a life partner, the optimal building of relationships in a future or current family, the regulation of interactions in family ties, the prevention and correct way out of intra-family conflicts, the relationship of spouses with each other and with relatives, behavior during divorce, the solution of various current intra-family problems , then he needs family psychological counseling.

The described type of psychological assistance requires consultants to know the essence of intra-family problems, ways out of difficult situations and methods for resolving them.

Psychological and pedagogical counseling is in demand when it is necessary to cope with the difficulties associated with the education or upbringing of children, when it is necessary to improve the pedagogical qualifications of adults or teach how to manage various groups. In addition, the described variety of counseling is related to the issues of psychological justification of pedagogical and educational innovations, optimization of means, methods and training programs.

Business (professional) consulting, in turn, is characterized by as many varieties as there are professions and activities. This type of assistance considers issues that arise in the process of engaging in professional activities by subjects. These include issues of vocational guidance, improvement and formation of skills in an individual, organization of work, increase in working capacity, etc.

Multicultural counseling aims to interact with individuals who perceive differently social environment however, they try to cooperate.

The effectiveness of advisory assistance to clients who differ in culturally mediated characteristics (gender orientation, gender, age, professional experience, etc.), and in addition, the ability to understand these clients, their requirements is interconnected with the cultural characteristics of the psychologist and the manner adopted in a particular social culture organization of psychological counseling practices.

Conducting counseling work requires a number of personal qualities and specific characteristics from a consultant psychologist. For example, an individual practicing this technique must certainly have a higher psychological education, love people, be sociable, insightful, patient, good and responsible.

Psychological counseling for children

The tasks of psychological support for children and adults are similar, but the approaches of psychological counseling and the methods of work of a specialist must be modified, due to children's lack of independence and immaturity.

Psychological counseling of children and adolescents is characterized by certain specifics and is a disproportionately more complex process than counseling adults.

There are three key features of psychological counseling for children:

- kids almost never, on their own initiative, do not turn to psychologists for professional help, often they are brought by parents or teachers who have noticed some developmental deviations;

- the psycho-correctional effect should come very quickly, since in children one problem provokes the emergence of new ones, which will significantly affect the development of the child's psyche as a whole;

- a psychologist cannot lay the responsibility for finding answers and solutions to existing problems on a crumb, since in childhood mental activity and self-awareness are not yet sufficiently formed, in addition, in a child’s life, all significant changes almost completely depend on their close environment.

Most of the clear differences between a child and an adult subject lie in the level of communication they use. The dependence of the child on the parents forces the psychologist-consultant to consider their life difficulties in one connection with each other.

The problems of psychological counseling of children lie in the lack of mutual understanding. The kid is limited in his own communicative resources, because, first of all, he has an underdeveloped ability to separate and integrate the external environment with emotional experiences, and secondly, his verbal abilities are also imperfect, due to lack of communication experience. Hence, in order to achieve effective communication, the consultant has to rely on behavioral methods, rather than verbal ones. Due to the peculiarities of children's mental activity, the game process in therapy has become widespread at the same time as one of the key methods of establishing contact and an effective therapeutic technique.

Due to the lack of independence of the baby, an adult is always included in child psychological counseling. The significance of the role of an adult depends on the age category of the child, the sense of responsibility for him. Usually a child comes to psychological counseling with his mother. Its task is to provide the psychologist-consultant with preliminary data about the baby and assist in planning corrective work. Communication with the mother provides the specialist with an opportunity to assess her place in children's problems, her own emotional disorders and get an idea of ​​​​family relationships. The lack of help from the close environment of the baby, in particular, parents, seriously complicates the process of achieving positive transformations in the child.

Parental relationships and their behavior are of decisive importance in child development. Therefore, often, family psychological counseling or psychotherapy of parents can play a leading role in modifying the environment in which their child grows, forms and is brought up.

Due to the lack of resistance of children to the influence of external conditions, environment stress and the inability to control the situation in which they are, the specialist, helping them, puts a lot of responsibility on their own shoulders.

During corrective work with an emotionally unstable baby, first of all, you need to change the home environment: the more comfortable he will be, the more effective the process will go.

As the child begins to become successful in areas in which he previously failed, his attitude towards the environment will gradually change. Because he will become aware that the world around him is absolutely not hostile. The task of the consultant is to act in the interests of a small individual. Often, the solution to some problems can be the placement of a child in a camp for holidays or school changes. In this case, the psychologist should facilitate the transfer of crumbs to a new school.

The immaturity of children often does not allow the formation of a clear correction strategy. Because kids don't know how to separate the imaginary from the real. Therefore, it is very difficult for them to separate real events from situations that exist solely in their imagination. Hence, all corrective work should be built on the basis of a mixture of the imagined and the really existing, which does not contribute to the achievement of quick sustainable results.

Psychological counseling of children and adolescents has a number of rules and is characterized by specific techniques.

Firstly, important condition establishing contact with children (teenagers) and maintaining it further is confidentiality. The counselor should remember that all information obtained during the counseling process should be applicable solely for the benefit of the children.

The next no less important condition for effective counseling of adolescents and children is mutually directed trust. According to the existential concept of Rogers (humanistic approach), there are several conditions for the relationship between a specialist consultant and a client that contribute to the personal growth of an individual: the ability to empathize on the part of the consultant (empathic understanding), authenticity, irrespective acceptance of the personality of another. Very important for a practical psychologist is the ability to listen to a partner. After all, often the most effective therapy is giving the individual the opportunity to speak out without fear of negative assessment from the partner or condemnation. Empathic understanding means the ability to sensitively perceive emotional experiences, the inner world of a communication partner, correctly understand the meaning of what is heard, grasp the inner state, capture the true feelings of the client.

Authenticity implies the ability to be oneself, an honest attitude towards one's own person, the ability to openly show emotions, sincerely express feelings, intentions and thoughts.

Irrespective acceptance of the personality implies acceptance of the subject as he is, that is, without excessive praise or condemnation, readiness to listen, accept the interlocutor's right to his own judgment, even if it does not coincide with the generally accepted opinion or the consultant's opinion.

Peculiarities of psychological counseling of children also lie in the absence of any motivation in children to interact with the consultant. Often they do not understand why they are being examined, because they are not worried about their own disorders. Therefore, psychologists often need all their ingenuity to establish contact with a small individual. This, first of all, concerns shy, insecure babies, children with behavioral patterns and disorders, who have a negative experience of interacting with adults. Children and adolescents with the described features and problems, when they are consulted by a specialist, experience emotional overstrain, which is expressed in high affectivity and increased in relation to the specialist. The problems of psychological counseling of adolescents and toddlers also lie in the difficulty of establishing contact with them. A significant barrier to this is usually distrust on the part of the kids, secrecy and shyness.

The process of counseling small individuals can be conditionally divided into several stages:

- establishing mutual understanding;

- collecting the necessary information;

— a clear definition of the problematic aspect;

— summarizing the results of the consultation process.

Methods of psychological counseling

The basic methods of counseling include: observation, conversation, interview, empathic and active listening. In addition to basic methods, psychologists also use special methods that have arisen as a result of the influence of individual psychological schools based on a certain methodology and a specific theory of personality.

Observation is a purposeful, deliberate, systematic perception of mental phenomena, aimed at studying their changes due to the influence of certain conditions and finding the meaning of such phenomena, if it is not known. The counselor-psychologist must have the ability to observe the verbal behavior and non-verbal manifestations of the client. The basis for understanding non-verbal behavioral response is the knowledge of various variants of non-verbal speech.

Professional conversation consists of a variety of techniques and techniques used to achieve the appropriate result. A huge role is played by the techniques of conducting a dialogue, stimulating statements, approving the client's judgments, brevity and clarity of the consultant's speech, etc.

The functions and tasks of a conversation in counseling are to collect information about the state of the subject's psyche, to establish contact with him. In addition, the conversation often has a psychotherapeutic effect and helps to reduce the client's anxiety. Consultative conversation is a means of reaching out to problems that concern the client, serves as a background and accompanies all psychotechnics. The conversation can be clearly structured, take place according to a predetermined strategy or program. In this case, the conversation will be considered an interview method, which happens:

- standardized, that is, characterized by clear tactics and a sustainable strategy;

- partly standardized, based on plastic tactics and sustainable strategy;

- freely managed diagnostic, based on a stable strategy and absolutely free tactics, depending on the specifics of the client.

Empathic listening is a type of listening, the essence of which lies in the exact reproduction of the feelings of the interlocutor. This type of listening involves avoiding evaluation, condemnation, avoiding interpretation of the hidden motives of the interlocutor's behavior. At the same time, it is necessary to demonstrate an accurate reflection of the experience, emotions of the client, understand them and accept them.

Contact a psychologist before it's too late.

Good afternoon! My name is Evgenia. Now I live in Chelyabinsk, I am 20 years old, I myself am from another city very far from here. I moved to Chelyabinsk with a guy, we have been living together for a year and a half, we met on the Internet, when I was 16, from that moment we started dating, he came to me several times a year until I was 18, then I came to him and I moved right after high school. The guy is 28 years old, I love him very much. He works and earns enough, but I'm still studying at the university and he provides for me. Do not think that I live in luxury, I only eat at his expense, he has very few clothes and rarely buys me something (every six months, about one thing for 1000). At the beginning of the relationship and when we were just starting to live together, he treated me very well, loved me very much, helped me in everything, always regretted it, wanted me to be happy and upset when I felt bad or hurt, gave me flowers, courted, always wanted me, spared nothing for me. But unfortunately, I was still a fool then and he almost did something wrong (accidentally remembered about the former, there was also a case when the former gave him a gift and he did not want to throw it away, or we just quarreled and I could not calm down ), I immediately threw tantrums at him, called him names strongly, I was jealous of him and could not do anything. There were such hysterics that I was in shock from myself. It wasn't that often, about once every two or three months or even less often, but it was a lot for him. I understand that I was wrong, that it was impossible to behave this way with a loved one and it was necessary for him to forgive it, and not to curse him for what the world is worth. But I also arranged them not from scratch, is it really impossible, when meeting with me, not to remember any of the former. For several years, we often wanted to leave, but then changed our minds. I have been behaving normally with him for a year now, I don’t shout, I don’t call him names. For the last six months, things have been like this: I cook for him, wash floors, dishes, and so on, iron shirts, do everything around the house, constantly climb to him with tenderness, to which he simply ignores me. We haven't had sex for a long time. He does not want to kiss and hug me, I ask directly, he says "why?". He didn’t care about me at all, he comes home from work and lies with the phone in front of his nose all evening, then he eats, watches some movie (and doesn’t even invite me to watch it with him) and goes to bed. If I forget to put some thing back or forget to wash the pan, claims and reproaches immediately begin. He never praises me for anything, for example, for cleaning up or cooking something tasty. He hasn’t complimented me for a hundred years, doesn’t give me flowers, doesn’t hug me himself and doesn’t kiss me. I have never cheated on him and even now I do not want to. Now he began to yell at me strongly over trifles and tell me to “go home.” For example, he is late at work, I am very sick, the temperature is under 40, he promised to bring medicine, I call him and tell him to come quickly. An hour later I call again and in an already dissatisfied voice I say: “How long can it be? When you arrive, I need to drink antibiotics quickly, can't you hurry? I didn’t yell at him, I didn’t call him names, he arrived an hour later and, as always, started yelling that I hesitated, that it’s unbearable to live with me, that if I don’t like something, I need to go home so that I fall behind from him and did not call him so often. And such quarrels about once a week, every time he tells me to leave, every time I tell him something that I don’t like, and he starts yelling like crazy. I only then roar, but he absolutely does not care and does not feel sorry for me. But it’s impossible for me to live with him all my life and be satisfied with everything, I’m always calm anyway, and even with a disgruntled, but calm voice and without shouting and insults, I say that I don’t like it. And he always answers me that if you don’t like something, go back and leave me alone. He considers himself right and every time he explains that I never learned to talk to him normally. But how else can I explain to him what I don't like? I don’t scream, I don’t throw tantrums, I constantly endure everything and restrain myself and tell him calmly. But even that doesn't suit him. But I can't be happy with everything all my life. And I can’t leave him, I’m already in my second year, I can’t transfer to my hometown, I found out. Therefore, it turns out that I am completely dependent on him, I can’t do anything, I’m already tired of crying every day, he’s just a standard of some kind of indifference, zero attention, zero tenderness, zero affection, zero understanding, zero sympathy from him. But some claims and reproaches and cries. So what should I do? I still want to be with him. I dream that he would begin to treat me as before, now I would appreciate it and would never offend him. I explained it all to him a million times, said that I was wrong, asked for forgiveness, asked him to start treating me as before and stop being indifferent, but he was useless. He says he doesn't know if he'll start treating me like he used to or not, but he thinks he loves me.

• Hello Evgeniya. If you really want to be with this person, then you must realize a simple truth: your young man does not owe you anything and everything he does for you in this life is solely at his behest of the soul.
  Next important point will be - it is to learn patience, to restrain one's emotions. Become strong, rely only on yourself in difficult situations, stop making any claims to the young man and crying for every reason. Every day look for something to be thankful for. young man rather than blame. Change you, change your life.

  Hello Evgeniya. Firstly, you should not blame yourself for anything that you once ordered tantrums and the like. Secondly, your man initially understood that you had no experience, and this suited him. You were a new bright impression for him, a young child whom he wanted to support and patronize. And the fact that he did not buy you things, but only contained, was already the first bell. He thought he was doing enough. Now he is used to you. Life and family life became a burden to him. Understand that no matter how you behaved before, you would have come to this stage. Why? Because your man does not perceive you as a person. And the more you try, the more it cools. He takes your care and you for granted, and he is sure that you will not go anywhere, and you have nowhere to go. To change the current situation, you must radically change your behavior, change internally, and begin to treat yourself with respect. In order not to turn the comment into a book, I will answer you personally in more detail. Send me an email: vikz-85(dog)mail.ru. My name is Victoria.

Hello! My name is Nina, my life story is not simple. I ask you to help me get through the breakup with my husband.
I met my husband at 18, he is 25 years older than me. We had love, passion, children were born 16, 14, 4.6, 1.2. We lived together for 20 years, but all these years, he did not break off the marriage with his first wife. He felt sorry for her all the time, provided financially - and dragged me into it. I bought food, things, medicines, cooked food (for the hospital), nursed their grandson. I devoted four years to my grandson, I treated soaps, taught, walked with him. Now he is 8 years old.
Our relationship was different, my husband has a complex character, he is irritable, but I loved him, took care of his health, appearance. By the way, when we met, he was in very poor health and threatened to have his thyroid gland removed. We went through everything together, the operation was avoided. and now he looks great for 50 years and feels fine (pressure 120 to 80). We lived by his rules - he was the head. My husband has a dacha, he loves this house and garden very much, puts his whole soul into it, and a lot of time. He needs help there. But I have small children and it became difficult for me to cope with the housekeeping. He began to invite his first wife and grandson. They were there in spring and autumn, me with my children and grandson in the summer before school started. The husband liked this situation and he did not even hesitate to invite guests either to the hostess or to his first wife. My opinion on this matter was not taken into account. And at the end of the summer, he took us home, three days later he took all our things from the dacha and took his own from the apartment. His explanations were confusing and absurd, then I raised older children incorrectly and they annoy him, then he suspected me of treason, then he said that as a hostess and a woman I did not suit him. Provides children with minimal financial assistance for food and courses. If you buy things, you need to ask him personally. For me, there is no finance at all. I am completely depressed, I am looking for the last strength in myself to cope with this betrayal, so that the children would not be so hurt. Don't know how to live on? I'm afraid that I'm not an authority for teenagers, and here also kids require a lot of time and care. Talk to me, help me find the way to a new happy life!

• • Thank you! Your articles open my eyes. I have a lot of work to do on myself.

Nina, hello! I also once went through a divorce, so I understand you well. True, I didn’t have children in marriage, so it’s even more difficult for you. But believe me, dear, life did not end there, and it is still unknown who was lucky) Yes, yes! You have someone to live for, you have beloved children, and you are still young. Fate specifically gave you a chance to become truly happy. You constantly obeyed your husband, his decisions, and this can no longer be called idyllic. You had to constantly suppress yourself and your discontent. Now you are finally free. Look at your husband's departure from this side and start learning to love yourself! If you need support or advice, please get in touch. My address is vikz-85(dog)mail.ru My name is Victoria.

Hello)
Today my husband confessed that he didn't love me for a long time. We have been married for 8 years and have a child. We did not scandal, never sorted out the relationship in a raised voice. We had disputes, but the solution was found quickly. We are both quite calm, without bad habits, no materials, etc.
I was always sure of my husband's feelings, he never gave a reason for doubt. But today he admitted that he had not loved for a long time, that he lied, did not want to hurt me. Wants to live, as before, for the sake of the child. For me, this is an incredible blow! I just can’t put it in my head, I can’t imagine how to live on. I love my husband, he is a wonderful person, I want my daughter to grow up in a complete family, but what can such a “family” give her? How to live on, knowing that I am no longer loved by my husband, to play "family", to pretend to be in a relationship? How to go further in life if you can’t take your hand, lean on your shoulder?
It's incredibly hard for me, it hurts, I'm scared. My husband walks around gloomy, says that I don’t get hung up on this, that I need to live on, let me go “nowhere”, he doesn’t want me, doesn’t want a divorce, wants us to live as before. Of course, I don’t want a divorce either, but how to live together when you know that you are not loved. We had plans, we wanted to move to another city, we wanted a second child, we planned holidays, shopping. And now everything collapsed inside me. The husband says that he regrets his confession that it was not necessary to tell such a truth. And I am grateful to him for the truth, but at the same time it hurts so much to realize that I lived in illusions, in lies. It pains me to watch how our daughter is going through, she certainly does not understand everything, but she feels, runs from dad to mom and says that she loves us. I see how scared she is and it is not clear why dad is gloomy and mom is crying, she is still small, she is only 5 years old, it is too early to explain to her. We both tell her that we love her, we just had a little fight with dad, but we will definitely make up.
Sorry for the sheet. I just don't know how to live on.

• Hello Maria. “But how to live together when you know that you are not loved” - There is no clear, unambiguously sufficient definition of love. Your husband may not fully realize what he feels for you, but he definitely has certain feelings for you.
  From the point of view of psychology, love implies a free relationship based on mutual happiness and mutual trust. Love in itself is fraught with three aspects: moral (commitment), emotional (intimacy) and physical (passion).
  In men, the decline in the physical aspect is often equated with the extinction of love.
  So-called "true love" is based on these three aspects, taken in equal proportions. Therefore, in a calm atmosphere, after analyzing your family life, you should think and pay more attention to the necessary aspect in life. Take your husband's confession not as a tragedy, but as a call to action.
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  • Thank you for taking the time to answer me.
    My husband, a silent man, always keeps all the problems and emotions in himself. I tried to talk to him about the "three aspects of love", but he does not feel emotional attachment to me. His talk about our future is just annoying. It is also insanely difficult for me, I cry non-stop, my husband sighs and frowns even more. He threw himself into work, took extra shifts. It's easier for him to tell. I'm really scared to lose my husband, my family, to hurt my child, I'm scared to destroy everything. I do not climb into his soul, my husband does not like it. I don't know how to behave properly so as not to aggravate the situation. After work, he comes and sits at the computer. Then he goes to sleep. Please tell me in which direction I should move, how to behave so as not to make things worse. We do not swear at all, we always speak calmly, we do not even raise our tone. Sticking with conversations is not an option, the husband does not like conversations at all, and he always shied away from “spiritual conversations”. Leave it alone and don't touch it? Trying to act like before? But I have a stupor. Usually I reached out to my husband, hugged, praised for little things, let him rest after work, etc. And now I'm scared to hug, scared to say something, scared to just sit next to me and take my hand, as before. I tried, but he tenses up, turns to stone. Doesn't move away, but kind of freezes, like it's blocking me.
    The man is a rock! Never apologizes, never takes back his words, for him there are no other colors than "black and white." Stingy on the manifestation of any emotions. There is no way to convince him of anything. But this is my dear man, the father of my daughter. I accept it as such and appreciate it, respect and love it.
    I wrote a lot of letters again, sorry. Emotions are running high, it's a shame and it hurts a lot.

    • Maria, now the most important thing is to realize what happened and accept the situation. You cannot change it, so it is important to accept it. This is necessary so that you stop feeling sorry for yourself, crying, being sad. Living with a man like your husband, you should have adopted a few of his qualities, or at least seemed like that with him - be tougher, not show unnecessary emotions. Now you need to adapt to it and not show your excessive emotionality, weakness. You should act as if nothing happened. Go about your family business as before. There is a stupor to be the first to approach - do not approach. You should take some time to come to your senses, calm down. We recommend soothing tinctures of valerian, motherwort.
      Let's analyze what we have: the husband admitted that he had no feelings. Great, you know it. One client, when she found out that her husband was cheating, said a wonderful phrase: “they didn’t promise to love me forever.” And she's right. In a relationship, no one owes anyone anything. Now you will read a bit of cynicism, try to understand it correctly. It seems to you that your husband is a whole universe for you, you dissolve in him, but in fact this is not so.
      Your husband is a stranger to you. Your family is your parents and your child, who will always love you unconditionally.
      "I accept him as such and appreciate, respect and love him." In your situation, you must accept, appreciate, respect your husband, and start loving yourself. Only then will you stop crying when you realize that by suffering, you are hurting yourself. In your life only you main man. Take care of yourself, your inner strength will still come in handy. And remember, no man is worthy of your tears, and the one who is worthy will never make you cry.

      • Hello. Thanks for answering me and helping me.
        I'm trying to follow your advice, but it's very difficult. For several days I tried to behave as usual, with the exception of tactile contact. And that turns out to be the hardest part. For me, it used to be the norm to kiss, kiss when meeting and parting, take my hand if we are going somewhere, pat on the back, etc., such simple gestures are now inaccessible to me and I have to control it.
        Two days ago, in the evening, I could not resist and hugged him. He endured, but it was clear that he was not pleased.
        Well, I can not pretend that he is indifferent to me. In domestic terms, it’s not difficult for me to lead a familiar lifestyle, but emotionally I can’t cope.
        After this incident, we stopped talking. He asks, but I can’t answer, I’m choking with a lump, tears. In order not to cry, you have to be silent. They didn't talk for a day. And yesterday, the mother-in-law suggested that he go somewhere to rest. The husband agreed and is waiting for a vacation. And now I'm afraid that he will either leave forever or there, on vacation, he will decide not to save his family at all and upon his return everything will completely collapse. This morning I burst into tears again and told him about my fears. He replied that he did not know anything. Vacation is not far away and what will happen next is not known. He repeated that he did not want a separation and a divorce, but only because I had nowhere to go. It would be where - would have let go, but not kicked out. He said that families are different, but I came up with an ideal one for myself and demand that he follow the rules. He said that he was tired and did not want anything at all.
        Today is an important day for our daughter, the first performance. She is waiting for him, but he said that he would not come. He was tired of everything. He left slamming the door.
        The family is falling apart. What happens next is scary. Vacation is still this (
        You are right, I dissolve in my husband, he really is the whole world for me. Maybe you should not wait for your husband's vacation, but just take your daughter and leave? There really is nowhere to go, I have no parents, relatives and close friends too. But I will find a way out, maybe rent a hostel ...
        I torment my husband, I suffer myself, my daughter in the kindergarten tells how dad does not love mom and mom cries (If my husband is tormented because of me, then maybe it would be more correct to leave?
        Thoughts jump, I confuse words and forget. I became confused, inattentive, nothing makes me happy.

Hello.
I ask for your advice and your help in the matter of relationships.
Met a girl for a year. They loved each other very much. We are peers. A month ago, the girl said that we were breaking up, that she was tired of everything. Although she herself said that she loved me very much, what would happen to me, that I was perfect, although I pissed and pissed her off, she said that she would marry me. She, like me, is the longest relationship. Year together.
During the last quarrel, I was jealous of her, at the meeting I told her this, thereby offending her and pissed her off. After that, we did not communicate for two days, I wanted to find out how her mother was and at the same time consult about a gift for my girlfriend's birthday. Arriving at work with my mother, we talked to her, told her about the quarrel, her mother said that she would talk to her, as if by chance, touching on the topic of relationships. The next day, my girlfriend herself was the first to write to me, forgetting the quarrel, but by the evening she changed her mood and did not want to communicate at all (her mother talked to her and my girlfriend realized that I had come to her mother for advice, she was very angry with me from -for this, as she told me more than once that I should not discuss our personal life with anyone.During such quarrels, I turned to my girlfriend's sister for advice, fearing to lose). After she wrote that we were breaking up. I told her that we do not need to leave, but she had already decided for herself.
I decided to leave her for a while. A week later, I met her after class, she treated me coldly. I decided to walk her home, but she told me not to follow her, that there would be nothing between us and that she had decided everything, she said that I should have at least a little self-respect, although not so long ago she said how much she loves me.
As a result, with my obstinacy, I brought her to hysterics, I asked her not to leave, to forgive me for my mistakes, in general, I humiliated myself in front of her, I did not want to let go, because I love her very much. And he only made things worse. Emotionally, she said that she did not love. I don't want to believe it, to be honest. She said that she did not want to be with me, to leave me alone forever. "If you love, then leave it alone."
She asked me, told me several times, there was no need to tell anyone what was going on between us. I said that I would not do this anymore, but I myself repeated my mistakes ... this quarrel may turn out to be the last, he turned to her sister and twice to her mother, was afraid to lose, but it turned out that he lost ...
As a result, we do not communicate for three weeks, we silently pass each other at the university.
Would it be better to start talking little by little? Will it be possible to return it? Work on yourself has been done, mistakes have been analyzed, conclusions have been drawn. I really want to return her, she asked me not to let her go, even before all the quarrels. I hope that she still loves me, but what she told me was emotional. Even though enough time has passed for her to move away, I hesitate to approach her for fear of ruining everything completely. Yes, I understood that it was bad to be jealous, but I was jealous not because I did not trust, but because I love. Jealousy is a stupid feeling. I accepted her for who she is and I love her any, even if she is angry with me or offended.
My mistakes are not fatal enough to end like this. Yes, she is tired of this, I annoy her, but I did not cheat on her, loved, paid enough attention to her, gave flowers and gifts. All my mistakes have become the reason why she does not want to be with me. But I tried and changed. I am monogamous and want to be only with her.
Is there any chance to fix it? And what should I do now: leave her for a while, or gradually resume communication?
Please help advice.

• Hello Igor. Your girl has a character with a core, she wants her boyfriend to be no weaker than her.
  No matter how much you don’t want to follow your negative emotions, you need to restrain yourself by an effort of will, not to show that there is a fear of losing a loved one. All these feelings, fears were transferred to the girl, who saw a weak person in front of her. It's all because of the real feeling of love, which made you insecure, wounded. What do girls want? They want to be proud of their boyfriends, to admire them, to feel that they are loved, but they do not keep them near them and give them freedom.
  Start saying hello to her, just passing by smiling, as if nothing had happened, said "hello" and walked past. She must think that you are doing well. Therefore, before her eyes, try to be cheerful, communicate with other girls, keep intrigue. It is very important that she sees you with another no less pretty girl, let her be jealous. If she asks in the future, and she will definitely ask about what she saw, say that it’s nothing serious, the girl herself takes the initiative.
  Your task now is simply to resume normal, friendly relations. For more, it's too early to claim. Become again a friend who allows everything and understands that the girl has a need to please everyone, and not just you. Do not make excuses and do not apologize to her anymore, she wants to see you proud and independent - become like that in her eyes. Do not discuss your relationship with anyone else. Set yourself up for the fact that there are a lot of girls around, and you are the only one and there will definitely be one that will truly appreciate you.

  • Hello, Natalia. Some time passed and, we can say that communication improved a little between us, but not quite. We crossed paths, said "hello" and that was it. One day in December, she wrote that she felt very bad without me, but she also felt bad with me. She said that she had not yet let go, but did not want to return. Again he says that he does not love. After that, she became cold again and ignores me.
    For all the time that passed, she was alone, did not meet with anyone. I still hope to get everything back, but I'm afraid to do something wrong and ruin everything completely. Our last conversation was at the beginning of the month, then she said that she did not love and did not return anything. Leave her again and not disturb? Or try to communicate?
    Thank you for your previous advice. Please help me again please.

    • Hello Igor. Try not to react to the words of the girl and not to show that it hurts you when she says that she does not love.
      In general, close this topic once and for all and never start yourself. Let her stew in her feelings and understand herself without hurting you.
      Do not be afraid to do something wrong, it is better to do something than to do nothing.
      That's when the girl wrote that she felt bad - you need to be active right away: “if you want to come, we’ll take a walk, as before, this does not oblige you to anything, just take a walk and you will feel better ...” Cunning and be resourceful.
      “Leave her again and not disturb her? Or try to communicate? Of course to communicate, but to do it so skillfully and appear every time randomly and unexpectedly.
      If she says that she does not want to return, then also play along with her and make it clear that this suits you too.
      "After that, she became cold again and ignores me." - Do not fix your eyes on her all the time, go about your business and try to be calm, and in suitable situations, cheerful. It is necessary that she follow you and want to observe, and for this you will have to show yourself as a changed person in order to attract her attention to yourself.

      • And for some reason, just tonight, she blocked me on the social. networks. What does she want to show by this? I haven't written or called her for a long time. Maybe I'm really tired of her?

        • Igor, she is trying to forget you in this way and does not want you to track her life. Find yourself a hobby for the soul, distract yourself mentally from it.

      Hello, Natalia. Again. I recently found out that my ex-girlfriend started dating another guy. For all this time, after my last message to you, I still tried to somehow start communicating, but to no avail: again ignoring, again silence. The news that she started a new relationship hurt me, but it further fueled the desire to return her. They are classmates and he is younger than her by two years. I still want everything back, even if it takes a long time. It’s impossible to let go and forget everything, and I don’t want to, to be honest. How to be in this situation, Natalia? Change yourself and just silently watch her, wait and hope further that she wants to return.

  It doesn't seem to be curable...
  Hello again. I don’t forget, this attachment doesn’t let go, or love, or already a disease ... or it’s me myself who doesn’t want to let go of everything. I never stopped visiting her pages in in social networks, did not stop occasionally asking her friends how she was doing. Occasionally I write her SMS, but almost every time I get the answer: "do not write to me." He met others, talked, and thoughts about her in his head. There is still hope somewhere. He is drawn to her, although a year has already passed. And does not leave the desire to return it and start all over again.
  What did I do, what did I try to do to get her back? A bunch of flowers, small gifts, poems. I went over in my head a hundred times everything that happened, what mistakes I made. Trying to get her interested. To hook something again, as for the first time ... but so far attempts have been futile.
  I again ask for your words of support or guidance, anything.

  • Hello Igor. Or maybe you don't need to be treated for it? Just live with that feeling. Don't fight it, but don't let it dwell on it either.
    You have done everything possible and impossible to renew your relationship with a girl. You are experiencing a year. This is a lot, but considering that you love it, this is normal. Accept the situation as it is today. You love, you don't. This is fine. It just so happens that she doesn't love you. But she doesn't have to love you. It happens.
    Love is “like manna from heaven”, it descended on a person and he begins to love, without even understanding why. And just like that, she can disappear. Love cannot last forever, it should be supported like a flame, throwing firewood, which is what you do: flowers, gifts, poems. The time has come for you to stop, respect yourself and let go of the situation.
    “I went over in my head a hundred times everything that happened, what mistakes I made” - You should not overdo it with this either, stop remembering past mistakes, once you have made the right conclusions and go ahead to conquer new women's hearts.

Hello. I contacted you on August 13th. Let me remind you, I am 43, the young man is 26. Overnight, he ended our relationship. All the fault of my unbridled jealousy and showdown. My attempts to explain and try to change something ended in nothing. He was silent.
Time has passed .. I get acquainted, communicate. But nothing serious yet. I thought I could forget him, but it doesn’t work .. My daughter-in-law advised me to create a left page in social networks with other people's data and try to communicate with him just in a friendly way. I did just that. I had to change the writing style a bit. But everything worked out. Asked on someone else's behalf about myself. He replied that she was blowing his mind, that she no longer remembers me and in general, there is no and cannot be a return to the old..
He didn’t have anyone, he was alone ... The first left page had to be removed, she let it get too close to her. I felt that he was beginning to show interest more than allowed by me. Now we communicate on the second, I created. With reason I understand all the absurdity of my idea. But I can’t refuse to know HOW he is and WHAT .. If he finds out about my tricks, he will certainly hate me. He treats any kind of deceit with rejection .. And from my real name I am afraid to write to him. He made it clear that he was no longer interested in me. Completely confused. Maybe you can give me some advice? Thanks in advance.

• Hello Natalia. Definitely, he should never know that you communicated with him using a different name. What can you do in your situation? Over time, your young man will rethink everything and become more calm towards you, and if you are persistent, but at the same time do everything beautifully, then you can openly resume friendly relations with him (meaning social networks). This requires time, patience and sincerely wish happiness to your young man, even if he is not with you. It is very difficult and not everyone is capable of this. Often love is selfish and a person thinks about himself how bad he is without the object of his passion. This is psychological dependence and the desire to be loved. But love cannot be earned, it is impossible to force a person to love himself.
  In two months, congratulate the guy on the New Year, wish him all the best, if he answers well, he doesn’t answer, it’s also good. If he answers, then you should not enter into a lengthy correspondence. By force of will, force yourself to think about other people, communicate with cheerful friends, they will lead you out of the obsessive state of sadness about your loved one. There will be a reason to congratulate on any event - congratulate the former. This will allow him to understand that he means a lot to you and you remember him. So it can take more than one month, a year, but if you are constant, then your boyfriend will subconsciously wait for your messages, even if he does not immediately reciprocate.

  • Thank you .. About 10 days ago I had very bad dreams about him ... And since I almost never remember them, this is what alerted me. And in social networks, he was absent for some time, then I wrote to him on my real name about these dreams, and that I was worried about him. He answered in a day, with just one word .. That was enough for me ..
    Now, on someone else’s page, I learn about him that I didn’t learn in our reality with him ... Then I was busy sorting things out (((
    Happy New Year to him... I really want him to be happy. I know that he communicates with many, he himself tells some moments from his life. And you know, all this sociability of his, which irritated me before, now does not cause any negative emotions. I'm calm. I have no illusions, I live my own life .. But this craving for women over 40 still worries me. I once asked him: “Do your parents love you?”. To which he replied: “But I don’t know ..” Is this some kind of dislike or something ???

    • Natalia, a person subconsciously attracts to himself what he lacks. And it is not at all necessary that your boyfriend needs maternal love. Adult women are attractive as a life experience, they know how to listen, and can be interesting, exciting companions, unlike girls who are interested in fashion trends, cosmetics and want attention only to their person. A wise, adult woman will be able to support with useful advice, and a young girl will wait for help from a guy, and this is a responsibility. And, of course, a young man is attracted to a woman by a certain experience, emancipation and courage in intimate relationships.

Hello. Dated a girl for 2 years. They knew each other since school. Went to different institutes. Then, when they returned to their hometown, they decided to try to meet, as there was sympathy. Relations like everyone else, sometimes quarrels, sometimes disputes, but in general everything is not bad, but soon she got tired of me (I don’t want to get married). She said that she wanted a family and didn’t love me anymore (although she used to say that I was the best, the best and she didn’t need anyone but me, she said that she would always love me). We broke up, I thought that she would just take a break from me and return, but almost immediately she began a relationship with a guy who is 5 years older than me. After 3 months, she broke up with him and after 6-7 months she married some guy. Randomly ran into their photos. She looks happy, but it's like I didn't even exist. And for a year now I can’t even think about other girls and I see her in almost every passer-by. It seems that not a small one should have already let go, but it feels like every day I get worse and worse. I can’t make new acquaintances, and I have broken all the old ones. All the cases that I undertake do not work out. I don’t even have anyone to talk to about this (I don’t want to burden my parents).

• Hello Vlad. If your feelings for a girl are strong and sincere, then it will be very difficult to get rid of them, and maybe you shouldn’t do it at all. Continue to love her in the depths of your soul, do not resist your feeling, wish her happiness with all your heart. Remembering the happy moments when you were together, mentally thank the Universe for this. Over time, you will feel better and your life will change.
  Photos on social media networks are not recommended. Often their girls spread in order to impress the society and they do not always correspond to reality. When a person does not believe in his own happiness, he does everything to convince others of his existence. On your example, you can be convinced of this - you believed and you are torturing yourself with this. Maybe the girl loves you now, but she set herself the goal of getting married, because it was her important need at that time. The psychology of women is such that they draw conclusions about the attitude of men towards them, based on whether a young man makes an offer or not. If he does, then there are feelings, if he does not want to legitimize the relationship, then he does not love and the relationship will not be long.

  Vlad, there is a deeper reason for your problem. Perhaps her realization will cause you negative feelings(and this is normal), but only understanding this reason will help you build your future life correctly. N.A. Vedmesh advises you not to resist your feeling, if it is sincere, and to wish for your ex girlfriend happiness. But, I'll tell you honestly, a rare person is capable of this. And I'm not sure if this is possible in your case. Why? Because "impossibility" is directly related to the cause of your condition. And the internal psychological reason that you are tormenting yourself and can no longer look at other girls lies in your wounded pride. Yes exactly. Initially, you assured yourself that you are the most wonderful for this girl. You thought that she would always love you, because she herself said so. And when your girlfriend wanted to leave, you didn't stop her. Decided to come back. You were not afraid to lose her, because. were sure of their irresistibility for her. When she started a relationship with another, you tensed up, wondered if it was worth taking action. And then she broke up. You thought again - it means he will return. But when you came across her photo and found out that she was married, your belief collapsed. You feel offended and hurt
  She is happy and has forgotten about you! How? There is no strong true love, but there is a sense of loss of self-worth (and in their own eyes). And you have 2 ways - to be tormented and blame everyone and everything, or to start a new and really happy life, to love and be loved. Can help. Write in person: vikz-85(dog)mail.ru Victoria.

Psychological counseling- a set of procedures aimed at helping a person in solving problems and making decisions regarding professional career, marriage, family, personal development and interpersonal relationships.

Target counseling - to help clients understand what is happening in their living space and meaningfully achieve their goals through informed choice in resolving emotional and interpersonal problems.

Gelso, Fretz (1992), Blosher (1966) distinguish specific features of psychological counseling, distinguishing it from psychotherapy:

counseling is focused on a clinically healthy person; these are people who have psychological difficulties and problems in everyday life, complaints of a neurotic nature, as well as people who feel good, but set themselves the goal of further personal development;

counseling is focused on the healthy aspects of the personality, regardless of the degree of impairment; this orientation is based on the belief that "a person can change, choose a life that satisfies him, find ways to use his inclinations, even if they are small due to inadequate attitudes and feelings, delayed maturation, cultural deprivation, lack of finances, illness, disability, advanced age " (1968);

counseling is more often focused on the present and future of clients;

counseling is usually focused on short-term assistance (up to 15 meetings);

counseling focuses on the problems that arise in the interaction of the individual and the environment;

in counseling, the value participation of the consultant is emphasized, although the imposition of values ​​on clients is rejected;

counseling is aimed at changing the behavior and development of the client's personality.

Types of counseling:

I. By area of ​​application:

1. baby; 2. teenage; 3. family and matrimonial; 4. professional; 5. individual, focused on the problems of the individual;

II. By number of clients: 1. individual; 2. group;

III. By spatial organization: 1. contact (full-time); 2. remote (correspondence) - by phone, correspondence.

Types of psychological counseling according to Nemov

Intimate-personal psychological counseling, the need for which arises quite often and for many people. This type includes counseling on such issues that deeply affect a person as a person, cause him strong feelings, usually carefully hidden from people around him. These are, for example, such problems as psychological or behavioral deficiencies that a person would like to get rid of at all costs, problems associated with his personal relationships with significant people, various fears, failures, psychogenic diseases that do not require the intervention of a doctor, and much more. This may also include a person's deep dissatisfaction with himself, problems of intimate, such as sexual, relationships.

The next type of psychological counseling in terms of importance and frequency of occurrence in life is family counseling. It can include counseling on issues that arise in a person in his own family or in the families of other people close to him. These are, in particular, the choice of a future spouse, the optimal construction and regulation of relationships in the family, the prevention and resolution of conflicts in intra-family relationships, the relationship of a husband or wife with relatives, the behavior of spouses at the time of divorce and after it, the solution of current intra-family problems. The latter include, for example, the solution of issues of distribution of responsibilities between family members, family economics, and a number of others.

The third type of counseling– psychological and pedagogical counseling. It can include a discussion between a consultant and a client on the issues of educating and raising children, teaching something and improving the pedagogical qualifications of adults, pedagogical leadership, managing children's and adult groups and teams. Psychological and pedagogical counseling includes the issues of improving programs, methods and teaching aids, the psychological justification of pedagogical innovations, and a number of others.

Fourth Among the most common types of psychological counseling is business counseling. It, in turn, has as many varieties as there are various cases and activities for people. In general, such consulting is called business consulting, which is associated with the solution of business problems by people. These, for example, include issues of choosing a profession, improving and developing a person's abilities, organizing his work, increasing efficiency, conducting business negotiations, etc.

Methods of psychological counseling

The main methods of psychological counseling include: conversation, interview, observation, active and empathic listening. In addition to the basic methods in psychological counseling, special methods are used, developed within the framework of individual psychological schools, based on a specific methodology and individual theories of personality.

Conversation A professional conversation is built from various kinds of techniques and techniques used to achieve the appropriate effect. An important role is played by the techniques of conducting a dialogue, approving the client's opinions, stimulating statements, brevity and clarity of the psychologist's speech, etc. The goals and functions of a conversation in psychological counseling are related to collecting information about the mental state of the subject, establishing contact with the client. The conversation can serve as a psychotherapeutic function and help reduce the client's anxiety. Consultative conversation serves as a way to get to the psychological problems that the client has, is the background and accompaniment of all psychotechnics. The conversation can be structured, conducted according to a pre-drawn plan, program. This structured conversation is called the interview method.

Stages of conversation:

1. Asking questions. The goal is to obtain information about the client, encouraging him to introspection.

2. Encouragement and calming . Important for creating and strengthening the consultative contact. Encouragement expresses support - the main component of contact ("Go on", "Yes, I understand"). Calming helps the client to believe in himself ("Very good", "You did the right thing").

3. Reflection of content: paraphrasing and summarizing. Reflection of content shows the client that he is being actively listened to and that he is understood. Reflection of the content also helps the client to better understand himself, to sort out his thoughts. Paraphrasing has three rules: the main idea of ​​the client is paraphrased; you can not distort or replace the meaning of the client's statement, add from yourself; avoid verbatim repetition.

4. Reflection of feelings - attention focuses on what is hidden behind the content. contact, because it shows the client that the consultant is trying to get to know his inner world.

5. Pauses of silence . Silence - increases the emotional understanding of the consultant and the client; - provides the client with the opportunity to "immerse himself" in himself and study his feelings, attitudes, values, behavior; - allows the client to understand that the responsibility for the conversation lies on his shoulders.

6. Provision of information. The consultant expresses his opinion, answers questions, informs the client about various aspects of the problems discussed.

7. The consultant's interpretation gives a certain meaning to the expectations, feelings, behavior of the client, because it helps to establish causal relationships between behavior and experience. A good interpretation is never deep. It should link to what the client already knows.

8.Confrontation - any reaction of the consultant, contrary to the behavior of the client. By confrontation, they try to show the client the methods of psychological defense used in an effort to adapt to life situations that are oppressed and limit the formation of a person.

9. Feelings of the consultant and self-disclosure. The counselor's self-disclosure can be: expressing immediate reactions to the client or to the counseling situation, limited to the "here and now" principle; a story about his life experience, a demonstration of its similarity with the situation of the client. The consultant, through the expression of his feelings, is revealed to the client. Opening up in the broadest sense means showing your emotional attitude to events and people.

10. Structuring counseling - organizing the relationship of a consultant with a client, highlighting individual stages of counseling and evaluating their results, providing the client with information about the counseling process.

Interview types:

standardized - has a stable strategy and clear tactics;

Partially standardized - based on a firm strategy and more flexible tactics;

• freely guided diagnostic interview - based on a strong strategy, but has a completely free tactics, which depends on the characteristics of the client, relationships, etc.

Observation - deliberate, systematic and purposeful perception of mental phenomena in order to study their specific changes in certain conditions and to find the meaning of these phenomena, which is not given directly. The consultant must have the skills to observe the verbal and non-verbal behavior of the client. The initial basis for understanding non-verbal behavior is a good knowledge of various types of non-verbal languages.

Active listening aims to accurately reflect the speaker's information. This method contributes to a more accurate understanding of each other by partners, allows you to create an atmosphere of trust and emotional support, and also serves to expand the client's awareness of the problem situation. Active listening involves the use of a number of techniques:

An interested attitude towards the interlocutor, demonstrated by the posture of an interested listener, a benevolent look directed at the interlocutor;

Clarifying questions: “Did I understand correctly that ...?”, “Do you want to say that ...?”;

Getting an answer to your question;

Repetition of what the interlocutor said "You say ...";

Reformulation of the interlocutor's thought: "In other words, ..."

Supporting reactions: “uh-huh-reactions”, “Yes-yes”, encouragement of the interlocutor in expressing the thought: “this is interesting”, “speak, speak”;

Generalization: “In general, you want to say ...?”, “So, it turns out ...”, “We talked about ...”, “We can conclude ...”.

The method of "active listening" is a mandatory method of psychological counseling, and mastering all its techniques is one of the requirements for the professional skills of a counseling psychologist.

an accurate reflection of the experience, feelings, emotions of the interlocutor with a demonstration of their understanding and acceptance.

Important characteristics and means of effective communication (during consultation) are:

Empathy - empathy, understanding of another at the level of feelings, experiencing the same emotional states that another person experiences;

Reflection (awareness of how he is perceived by a communication partner, the ability to introspect mental states, actions, deeds),

Identification (likening, identifying oneself with another person, transferring oneself to the place, to the situation of another person).

Method as a set of psychotechnics developed within the framework of individual psychotherapeutic and personal theories:

method of person-centered counseling,

Existential counseling method

method of psychoanalytic counseling,

method of behavioral counseling,

method of cognitive counseling,

solution-focused counseling method,

· multimodal counseling, etc.

Stages of psychological counseling. (Nemov)

1. Preparatory stage. At this stage, the psychologist-consultant gets to know the client according to the preliminary record available about him in the registration log, as well as according to the information about the client that can be obtained from third parties, for example, from the employee of the psychological consultation who accepted the application from the client for a consultation. At this stage of work, the psychologist-consultant, in addition, prepares himself for the consultation, performing almost everything that was discussed in the previous section of this chapter. The working time of a psychologist-consultant at this stage is usually from 20 to 30 minutes.

2. Adjustment stage. At this stage, the psychologist-consultant personally meets the client, gets to know him and tunes in to work with the client. The client does the same. On average, this stage in time, if everything else is already prepared for the consultation, can take from 5 to 7 minutes.

3. Diagnostic stage. At this stage, the psychologist-consultant listens to the client's confession and, on the basis of its analysis, clarifies and clarifies the client's problem. The main content of this stage is the client's story about himself and his problem (confession), as well as the client's psychodiagnostics, if it becomes necessary to clarify the client's problem and find its optimal solution. It is not possible to accurately determine the time required for this stage of psychological counseling, since much of its determination depends on the specifics of the client's problem and his individual characteristics. In practice, this time is at least one hour, excluding the time required for psychological testing. Sometimes this stage of psychological counseling can take from 4 to 6-8 hours.

4. Recommendation stage. The psychologist-consultant, having collected the necessary information about the client and his problem at the previous stages, at this stage, together with the client, develops practical recommendations for solving his problem. Here, these recommendations are refined, clarified, concretized in all essential details. The average time usually spent to go through this stage of psychological counseling is from 40 minutes to 1 hour.

5. Control stage. At this stage, the counseling psychologist and the client agree with each other on how the practical implementation of the practical advice and recommendations received by the client will be monitored and evaluated. Here the question of how, where and when the psychologist-consultant and the client will be able to further discuss additional issues that may arise in the process of implementing the developed recommendations is also resolved. At the end of this stage, if necessary, the counselor and the client can agree with each other on where and when they will meet next. On average, work at this final stage of psychological counseling takes 20–30 minutes.

Summarizing all the above, it can be established that on average, it may take from 2–3 to 10–12 hours to complete all five stages of psychological counseling (without the time allotted for psychological testing).

Pedagogy