Who can get married in a church? All about weddings in churches - the sacrament of the Orthodox ceremony

The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church belongs to the Sacraments of the Church, during which, with the mutual promise of those getting down the aisle to remain faithful to each other in any situation, God himself blesses the couple to be one throughout their lives with Christ.

Wedding rules require that the future spouses who have made the decision be baptized according to the laws of Orthodoxy and understand the importance of this rite.

The spiritual essence of a wedding

Jesus in the Bible said that people cannot destroy a union blessed by God. (Matthew 19:4-8).

The wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church is an action performed by priests as intermediaries between God and people, during which two souls merge into one.

Genesis 1:27 says that God created man, notice, not two people, but one - the Lord created male and female.

The sacrament of a couple coming down the aisle consists of calling on the help of the Holy Trinity to give a blessing for their future family life.

During the blessing ceremony, the couple comes under the spiritual protection of the Church, becoming a part of It.

The head of the family is the husband, and to him is Jesus.

The married couple is a prototype of the relationship between Jesus and the Church, where Christ is the groom, and the Church is the bride, awaiting the arrival of His betrothed.

In a small church-family, services also take place in the form of general prayers and reading the Word of God, and the spouses make their own sacrifices for obedience, patience, submission and other Christian sacrifices.

About family life in Orthodoxy:

Children born to an Orthodox couple are given a special blessing at birth.

Starting a common life, even if Christians are not true doers of the Word of God and rarely attend temple services, they can come to God through the Sacrament of uniting two into one.

Only by standing under the crown of God's blessing can one feel the power of His grace.

Sometimes a couple is in love with each other only on a physical level, but this is not enough to build a happy life together.

After the rite of spiritual union, a special connection appears, giving a strong impetus for a long-lasting marriage.

Receiving blessings in the temple, the couple trusts themselves to the protection of the Church, letting Jesus Christ into their life as the Lord of the house.

After the perfect ceremony, God takes marriage into His hands and carries it through life, but subject to the observance of Christian laws by family members and chastity.

Wedding

What is the spiritual process of preparing for a wedding?

The wedding rules in the Orthodox Church state that one should prepare for an important event in spiritual life. Govenye is a Christian feat of the future family before the Holy Church.

The bride or witness must take care of snow-white festive scarves in advance for this action.

In the absence of guarantors, the crowns are placed on the heads of those getting married, so the young woman prudently makes a hairstyle that will not interfere with the reclining of the crown.

Is it possible for an Orthodox Christian who does not strictly adhere to church canons to get married?

Some people have turned the ceremony of marriage in a temple into a fashionable attribute of a wedding, treating it without any reverence.

Not understanding the spiritual value of the blessing of a future common life, people deprive themselves of the spiritual joy of being under the protection of the Almighty.

Some young people refuse blessings in the temple due to a cooling of faith.

The Creator opens his doors to all Orthodox Christians who want to receive the sanctification of their marriage. No one knows at what time the Holy Spirit will touch the heart of a sinner; perhaps it will happen during the wedding. There is no need to limit God in giving mercy.

Mandatory fasting and communion will help the bride and groom approach the throne of God with reverence.

Prayers for the family:

• Prayers of Blessed Ksenia of Petersburg for family well-being

How to behave in church during the Sacrament

People who rarely attend church services sometimes behave disrespectfully towards sacred objects due to their church illiteracy.

A wedding in a temple is a sacred rite during which it is forbidden to talk, laugh, whisper, much less talk on a mobile phone.

Even the most important people are required to turn off all communications before entering the temple.

Being in the middle of the temple, you should carefully monitor your movement along it so as not to accidentally turn your back on the holy images, especially the iconostasis.

During the ceremony, which takes place after the completion of the Liturgy, the Church gives all its attention to two individuals - the bride and groom, blessing them for a happy life, while a prayer may be performed for the parents or people who raised the bride and groom.

With reverence and all attention, the young couple fervently prays for the Sacrament to bless their future life for many years, until death separates the spouses.

Should a bride cover her head during a wedding?

A snow-white dress and an airy veil are a traditional look for a bride, but new fashion trends have made their own adjustments.

Does a bride need to cover her head during a wedding, what is the point of a small piece of tulle?

The history of covering the head in the temple goes back to the beginning of Christianity, when women of easy virtue who shaved their hair were required to cover themselves with a veil during services.

Over time, head covering shows a woman's status. It is indecent for a married lady to appear in society without a scarf, hat or hood. The Queen of England will never appear in public without covering her hair.

In Orthodoxy, the veil is a symbol of purity and innocence.

Advice! Long hair is a covering for a woman, so each bride chooses her own outfit for the wedding.

What is engagement before wedding?

Betrothal is an event that takes place after the Liturgy. It marks an act emphasizing that the Sacrament of blessing is performed in the presence of the Holy Trinity, before the Holy Face of God, by His good pleasure.

The priest informs the couple of the importance of the event, emphasizing that the sacrament of blessing must be approached with reverent anticipation, with special reverence.

In the face of the Almighty, the groom must understand that he is accepting his wife from the hands of the Savior himself.

The wedding couple stands in front of the entrance to the temple, and the priest, who at this time carries out the mission of the Almighty himself, awaits them at the altar.

The bride and groom, like the ancestors Adam and Eve, stand before the Face of God, ready to begin their common life in purification and holiness.

Just as the pious Tobias drove away demons who opposed church marriage, so the priest blesses the newlyweds with the words “In the Name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit,” lighting church candles and giving them to the future husband and wife.

For every blessing pronounced by the clergy, the marrying couple is baptized three times.

The sign of the cross and lit candles symbolize the triumph of the Holy Spirit, whose invisible presence is present during the ceremony.

The light of a candle means that the couple promises one another to keep their flaming love, which does not fade over the years, in purity.

As required by the rules, the betrothal ceremony begins with the praise of the Almighty with the exclamation “Blessed is our God.”

The deacon says the usual prayers and supplications for the young couple on behalf of everyone in the church.

In prayer, the deacon prays to the Creator for the salvation of people who become engaged to the Holy Trinity.

Important! Marriage is a blessed act whose purpose is the continuation of the human race through the birth of children.

In the first prayer according to the Word of God, the Lord hears all the requests of the married couple regarding their salvation.

In reverent silence, a prayer for salvation is secretly read. Jesus Christ is the Bridegroom of His bride, the Church, who is betrothed to Him.

After this, the clergyman puts rings on the groom, then on the bride, and betroths them in the name of the Holy Trinity.

“The servant of God (name of the groom) is engaged to the servant of God (name of the bride) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

“The servant of God (name of the bride) is betrothed to the servant of God (name of the groom) in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.”

Great is the spiritual meaning of the rings, which before the betrothal lay on the right side of the throne, as if before the face of the Savior Jesus Christ, they were sanctified, having received the power of His grace for unity. Just as rings lie side by side, so the engaged will be together all their lives.

Those getting married receive God's blessing through consecrated rings. After getting engaged, the couple exchanges rings three times.

The ring from the groom on the bride’s hand is a symbol of his love and willingness to be a patron in the family. Just as Jesus loves His Church, so a husband is committed to treating his wife.

The bride puts a ring on the hand of the chosen one, promising him love, devotion, humility, and readiness to accept his help. The engagement ends with a request to the Creator to bless, approve the engagement, signify the rings, and send a Guardian Angel for the new family.

Wedding accessories

Sacrament of the Church - wedding

After the betrothal, with lit candles as a symbol of the Sacrament, the newlyweds move to the middle of the temple, following the priest. The priest offers incense to the Creator with the help of a censer, showing that in this way sincere fulfillment of the commandments of the Lord will be pleasing to the Creator.

The singers sing a psalm.

Psalm 127

Song of Ascension.

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord and walks in His ways!

You will eat from the labor of your hands: blessed are you, and good to you!

Your wife is like a fruitful vine in your house; Your sons are like olive branches around your table:

so will the man who fears the Lord be blessed!

The Lord will bless you from Zion, and you will see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life;

You will see your sons' sons. Peace on Israel!

Between the lectern with the Gospel, cross and crowns laid out on it and the wedding couple, a cloth or towel is spread.

Before standing on the platform, the bride and groom once again confirm their decision to accept the wedding of their own free will, without any coercion. At the same time, emphasizing that none of them is bound by the promise of marriage with third parties.

The priest appeals to those present at the Sacrament to report facts that impede this union.

For in the future, all obstacles to marriage should be forgotten if they were not voiced before the blessing ceremony.

After this, the getting married couple stands on a towel laid under their feet. There is a sign that whoever stands on the board first will be the head of the house. Everyone present watches these actions with bated breath.

The priest speaks to the groom, asking whether, out of good will, sincere desire, he wants to marry the girl standing in front of him.

After a positive answer, the young man is obliged to confirm that he is not engaged to any other girl and is not bound by any promises to her.

The same questions are asked of the bride, clarifying whether she is going down the aisle under duress and is not promised to another man.

A mutually positive decision is not yet a union sanctified by God. For now, this decision may be the basis for concluding an official marriage in government bodies.

The sacrament of consecration of the new family before the Creator is performed over the officially registered newlyweds, the wedding ceremony begins, litanies are sounded, petitions for well-being, both spiritual and physical, for the newly born family.

The first prayer is filled with a request to Jesus Christ to bless the newlyweds with love for each other, long life, children and the purity of the marital bed. The priest asks for a blessing for the abundance in the house to be greater than the dew in the field, so that there will be everything in it, from grain to oil, allowing it to be shared with people in need.

“Bless this marriage: and give to Your servants a peaceful life, long life, love for each other in a union of peace, a long-lived seed, an unfading crown of glory; make them worthy to see the children of their children, keep their bed unblamed. And grant them from the dew of heaven from above, and from the fatness of the earth; Fill their houses with wheat, wine and oil, and every good thing, so that they share the excess with those in need, and grant to those who are now with us everything necessary for salvation.”

In the second prayer, an appeal to the Holy Trinity should be granted:

• children are like grains on an ear;
• abundance, like grapes on a vine;
• long life to see grandchildren.

“Give them the fruit of the womb, good children, like-mindedness in their souls, exalt them like the cedars of Lebanon, like a vine with beautiful branches, give them a spiked seed, so that, having contentment in everything, they may abound for every good deed that is pleasing to You. And may they see sons from their sons, like the young shoots of an olive tree, around their trunk, and having pleased You, may they shine like lights in the sky in You, our Lord.”

For the third time, a request is made to the Triune God to bless the young as heirs of Adam and Eve, created in the image and likeness of God, to create from them one spiritual flesh and to bless the womb of the wife, bestowing much fruit.

In reverence for the Great Creator, the union of a new couple in Heaven is sanctified and sealed by the Almighty himself.

The time has come for the main wedding ceremony - putting on the crown.

The priest takes the crown, baptizes the young man three times, giving him the image of Jesus Christ, located in front of the crown, to kiss and saying that the servant of God (name) is being married to the servant of God (name) in the Name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

The same act is performed on the bride, only for the kissing she is offered to kiss the image of the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Wedding

Covered with the blessing of crowns, the couple awaits God's blessing as they stand before the face of the Almighty.

The most exciting and solemn moment of the entire Sacrament comes, when the priest, in the name of God, crowns the newlyweds, proclaiming blessings three times.

All those present must sincerely and reverently repeat the words of the priest within themselves, asking the Creator to bless the new family.

The priest seals God's blessing, proclaiming the birth of a new small church. Now it is a cell of a single Church, an indestructible church union. (Matthew 19:6)

At the conclusion of the wedding, the letter of the Apostle Paul to Christians in Ephesus is read, in which he says that a husband and wife are like Jesus and the Church. The husband is obliged to take care of his wife as if he were his own body; the wife’s task is to be submissive to her husband who loves her. (Eph. 5:20-33)

In his first letter to the Church of Corinth, the apostle left recommendations for the couple on behavior in the family to achieve complete harmony. (1 Cor.7:4).

The prayer “Our Father” is read, which the Savior left as a model of appeal to the Creator.

After this, the young couple drinks wine from a common cup, which brings joy, like the wedding at Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine.

The priest connects the right hands of the bride and groom with the help of an stole and covers it with his palm. This action symbolizes the transfer of the wife by the Church, uniting the couple in the name of Jesus Christ.

Taking the young people by the right hands, the priest walks around the lectern three times, performing troparia. Walking in a circle is a prophecy of eternal, never-ending earthly life for a new generation.

After removing the crowns and kissing the icons, the priest reads a few more prayers, after which the newlyweds kiss each other.

In what cases is a church marriage unacceptable?

According to church canons, not every marriage can be blessed in church. There are several contraindications for weddings.

1. Some of the young people have already received the rite of the Sacrament three times. The Church does not solemnize fourth and subsequent marriages permitted by civil law.
2. The couple or one of the members of the future family considers themselves atheists.
3. Unbaptized people cannot walk down the aisle, but they can be baptized as adults, immediately before the ceremony.
4. People who have not officially broken ties in a previous marriage, both according to civil and Christian laws, cannot receive a blessing for further family life.
5. Blood relatives of the bride and groom cannot create a Christian family.

On what days does the wedding not take place?

The canonical rules clearly define the days when blessing ceremonies are not performed:

• throughout all the days of fasting, and there are four of them;
• seven days after Easter;
• 20 days from Christmas to Epiphany;
• on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays;
• before the great temple holidays;
• for the day and on the feast itself of the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord.

What to do with wedding accessories after the wedding

What to do with candles, scarves and towels that were used during the wedding?

Candles are not just a light, but the embodiment of faith in the fulfillment of requests to the Creator. According to tradition, wedding candles should be wrapped in the handkerchiefs used to hold them and hidden behind icons or in another pious place.

Wedding candles are lit for a short time whenever difficulties visit the house, be it quarrels, illness, financial problems.

As a rule, towels are used to decorate icons with which the newlyweds were blessed in the temple.

In some families, there is a tradition of passing scarves and towels for weddings from generation to generation as a family amulet. Towels can be left at the temple for couples who cannot afford this accessory.

Advice! All traditions remain only traditions, the main thing for a family is love, mutual respect and support for each other.

Watch the wedding video

The wedding ceremony has quite ancient roots, it dates back to the 9th-10th centuries and has not only beautiful content, but also carries a deep meaning. A wedding is a rite that unites a man and a woman in the face of God for eternal love and fidelity, turning marriage into a sacrament related to spiritual existence.

The essence of a wedding

In the modern world, unfortunately, many people misinterpret the very essence of the sacrament and treat it as a fashionable and beautiful event that can brighten up the solemn wedding day. Without even thinking about the fact that a wedding is not a simple formality. Only those people who believe in the eternity of marriage on earth and in heaven should take this step. And such a decision can be made only with mutual consent, as a conscious and well-thought-out act. We should not forget that the rite refers to one of the seven sacraments, as a result of which the grace of the Holy Spirit is transmitted to a person, and this happens in an invisible way.

Wedding rules

If, nevertheless, the relationship in a couple is time-tested, the feelings are deep, and the desire to perform the ceremony is well weighed, then it is worth familiarizing yourself with the conditions without which a wedding is impossible. The rules are mandatory:

1. The basis for a wedding is a marriage certificate.
2. The main role in the family is given to the husband, who must love his wife selflessly. And the wife must obey her husband of her own free will.

It is the husband who has the responsibility to maintain the family's connection with the church. Debunking is allowed only in the most urgent situations, for example, when one of the spouses cheats or in case of mental illness. By the way, the latter can also become a reason for refusal of a wedding.

In ancient times, there was a custom when young people submitted a petition to a priest for a wedding, he announced this at a people's meeting, and only after a lapse of time, if there were no people who could report the impossibility of marriage, was the ceremony carried out.

The total number of weddings a person has throughout his life cannot exceed three times.

Only baptized young people and their witnesses are allowed to participate in the ceremony; everyone must wear a pectoral cross.

If one of those getting married does not know whether he has been baptized or not, it is imperative to discuss this issue with the priest. As a rule, a positive answer is possible if the young people agree to give birth and raise children, following Orthodox traditions.

Age restrictions: a man must be at least 18 years old, and a woman must be at least 16.

Wedding is a primordially Christian rite, therefore people professing another religion (Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, etc.), as well as atheists, are not allowed to participate in it.

A ban on weddings is imposed if the bride and groom are related, even in the fourth generation. And it is undesirable to enter into a marriage between godparents and godchildren.

If one of the newlyweds has a secondary marriage, the wedding is prohibited.

But circumstances such as the wife’s pregnancy, or if the newlyweds do not have parental blessing, are not grounds for refusing the wedding.

When can the wedding take place?

According to the Orthodox calendar, weddings can be held throughout the year, with the exception of days of major fasts - Nativity (from November 28 to January 6), Great Lent (seven weeks before Easter), Peter's Lent (from the second Monday after Trinity to July 12), Assumption ( from August 14 to 27), Maslenitsa, on the eve of all major church holidays. Wedding ceremonies are held on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. But, according to popular belief, Wednesday and Friday are not suitable for performing the sacrament. It’s also better to avoid getting married on the 13th.

But the happiest periods for marriage are considered to be the periods after the Intercession in the fall, from Epiphany to Maslenitsa in the winter, between Petrov and the Dormition Lent in the summer, and on Krasnaya Gorka in the spring.

Many couples want to get married on the day of official marriage registration, but this cannot be called correct. Priests, as a rule, dissuade young people from such hasty actions. It is best when couples get married on their wedding anniversary or after the birth of children. The later this happens, the more conscious this act will be. The wedding year will be a memorable event that will testify to the sincerity of feelings and confidence in family ties.

Preparation for the wedding

The process of preparing for such a ritual as a wedding in the Orthodox Church is also of particular importance. The rules are also present here.

The very first thing that needs to be done is to decide on the church and the priest who will conduct the ceremony. This is quite a responsible task, since the choice must be made with the soul. Young people in the temple should feel comfortable and calm, only in this way will the whole process be of truly great significance. Whether it will be a small church or a majestic cathedral depends primarily on the wishes of the newlyweds; absolutely the entire atmosphere of the holy place should harmoniously fit not only into the spiritual essence of the ceremony, but also correspond to the mental state of the young couple who have decided to link their fate forever.

You also need to talk to the priest, discuss not only organizational issues, but also take a closer look at each other, find a common language - this is also very important for the ritual. Many priests pay special attention to talking with the newlyweds; sometimes they may advise postponing the procedure or holding off, then the priest’s advice should be heeded.

Also, what is important, not all priests have the right to perform wedding ceremonies; for example, those who have been tonsured as monks and are under canonical prohibitions are prohibited from doing so. Sometimes the ceremony, at the request of a young couple, can be performed by a clergyman from another church or cathedral, if, for example, he is their spiritual father.

carrying out the ceremony

It is necessary to agree with the priest on the date and time for which the Orthodox wedding is scheduled. The rules of church life oblige this. Sometimes several couples can get married in a church at the same time; this nuance also needs to be discussed. You should be concerned if several cameramen will be taking photos and videos at the wedding, so that there is no confusion and this does not spoil the entire ceremony.

A week before the wedding, the newlyweds must begin to fast: do not eat meat, do not drink alcohol, do not smoke, and abstain from marital intimacy. Before the wedding, the newlyweds must attend a service, confess and receive communion.

It is also necessary to take care in advance about purchasing the Mother of God, which must be consecrated, wedding rings, which must be given to the priest before the ceremony, candles, two white towels and four handkerchiefs. It should be noted that according to church canons, rings should be bought for the groom from gold, for the bride from silver. As a rule, the acquisition of all necessary attributes is entrusted to witnesses.

The tradition of use in the ritual also has ancient historical roots. Since ancient times, parents blessed their children using holy icons: a son - Christ the Savior, a daughter - the Virgin Mary, thus giving guidance on the true path.

It is customary to leave a reward for performing a wedding ceremony; you should also ask the priest about money. If the couple does not have the financial ability to pay the entire amount, you can talk about it. Sometimes the amount is not announced at all, and the priest offers to give alms to the church, in the amount that is possible for the newlyweds.

Choosing an outfit for the bride

Regarding the bride's wedding dress, which she will wear to a wedding in the Orthodox Church, the rules are as follows:

• the dress should not be very tight or short, but too fluffy and chic outfits are also not suitable;
• In no case should the shoulders, neckline or arms above the elbows be exposed;
• you can use a cape that will cover exposed parts of the body;
• the outfit should be white or another pale color;
• the head must be covered, for this a scarf or veil is used;
• Do not use too bright makeup or a rich aroma of perfume;
• instead of a wedding bouquet, the bride should have

You should also take care of your shoes in advance; closed-toe shoes with low heels are best, because the wedding ceremony lasts about an hour, the bride should feel comfortable throughout this time.

There is a very interesting belief. The bride's dress must have a long train. According to folk legend, the longer the train, the more time the young couple will be together. If a train is not provided in the outfit, it can be attached only for the duration of the wedding.

Also, when a wedding takes place in an Orthodox church, the rules apply to the appearance of all guests present. Women should wear dresses or skirts with their knees covered; they should also not expose their neckline or arms; their heads should be covered with a scarf or scarf. It is not necessary for all wedding guests to be present at the wedding ceremony; these can be people who truly believe in the sacrament of the ceremony and treat this process sincerely. To maintain formality, it is better not to attend such events, but to come only to the banquet.

Wedding ceremony

The wedding always begins only after the service. The ceremony consists of two stages: the first is the betrothal, the wedding is the second stage. In the past they were separated by time. After the engagement, the couple could separate if there were reasons for it; the wedding could take place only if the feelings were strong and sincere, because the husband and wife chose each other not only for earthly life, but forever. In the modern rite, both components of the ceremony occur on the same day.

Engagement

The engagement takes place at the entrance to the church. The bride stands on the left hand of the groom. The priest reads a prayer, after which he blesses the couple three times and gives lighted candles to their hands. He reads the prayer again and betroths the newlyweds with rings. The rings are changed from the young man's hand to the bride's hand three times, as a result, the groom's gold ring remains on the bride's hand, and her silver ring on the future husband's finger. Only now can the couple call themselves bride and groom.

Wedding

The priest takes the couple into the temple and places them in front of the lectern on a white towel. The man and woman are asked whether they came here of their own free will and whether there are any obstacles to getting married. Witnesses take the crowns in their hands and hold them over the heads of the bride and groom. It should be noted here that this is not so easy to do, especially if the witnesses are short and the young people are tall, and the ceremony time is no less than forty minutes in city churches, and if the ceremony is held in a monastery, then more than an hour. Therefore, it is advisable to choose higher witnesses. After the prayers are read, the newlyweds are brought out a cup of wine, which they must drink three times as a symbol of the fact that from that moment everything in the couple will be shared equally - both happiness and bitterness.

The bride should be warned: while drinking wine from a cup, a situation may arise when the veil gets very close to the candle and ignition occurs. To prevent this from happening, it is advisable to worry in advance about the length of the veil, which should not be too long.

The hands of the newlyweds are tied with a white towel and they are circled around the lectern three times. At this time the church choir is singing. The priest leads the couple to the altar and reads an edification for eternal life together. After the wedding, all the guests begin to congratulate the newlyweds, and the bell rings, signaling the birth of a young family.

If the newlyweds want to capture a wedding for a long time, photography and video shooting can be done with the permission of the priest. It is best to agree on exactly where the operator should be and how best to stand or move. Usually, churches and cathedrals have quite specific lighting, therefore, in order to ensure that the quality of the shooting does not disappoint later, it is advisable to contact a good specialist. There are cases when photography is strictly prohibited, then in order for a memorable event to remain in the family archives, you can take photographs against the backdrop of a cathedral or temple.

Royal wedding

There is one more ancient custom that should be mentioned in order to bring some historical clarity - royal weddings. This ritual was performed during the coronation ceremony of monarchs, and Ivan the Terrible was the first to start it. The crown that was used went down in history under the name known to everyone - the Monomakh cap. The obligatory attributes of the action were barmas, an orb and a scepter. And the process itself had a sacred content, the main essence of which was the sacrament of anointing. But this ritual has nothing to do with marriage.

Getting married is a big event that requires serious preparation. More and more young people decide not only to get married, but also to get married in a church. How does this happen, what is necessary, how to prepare correctly?

Although the ritual is very beautiful, external shine is not its goal. The Church considers marriage one of his sacraments, so believers should take it seriously. You need to get married only with full confidence that your whole life will be devoted to your chosen one.

Why is a wedding necessary?

Two believers become not just a family, but a small church of Christ. It is created so that people support each other and raise their children in the Orthodox faith. Maintaining godliness over the years is no easy task. That is why crowns are used during the ceremony. After all, they symbolize martyrdom - the renunciation of one’s own desires and whims in the name of the good of others.

Christ the Savior in the Gospel does not speak so often about family life. But the first miracle he performed happened during the wedding feast. Obviously, the feast was not held by very rich people, since they did not have enough wine. But it was the height of the fun; announcing that there was no wine meant bringing shame on the whole family. And the Lord comes to the aid of the young, turning water into wine. Thus, He shows that an honest marriage pleases higher powers.

Obstacles to a wedding, how to choose a day

When intending to enter into a church marriage, you should remember that according to the canonical rules, “debunking” does not exist. However, in practice, divorces are common today even in the church environment. However, you cannot marry in a temple more than three times. The bride and groom must be baptized and have a legal marriage at the registry office.

There are other prohibitions.

If prior consent has been obtained from the priest, you can choose a day. This should be done together with a clergyman; he knows all the intricacies. The sacrament can only be performed on certain days: Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. It is forbidden to hold a ceremony during long periods, there are four of them in a year:

• Great (before Easter - he is the only one who is transitory);
• Petrov;
• Uspensky;
• Christmas.

An Orthodox person must devote this time to correction and contrition for sins. They will also not perform the sacrament on Holy Week, Maslenitsa, or Christmastide. It is forbidden to get married on certain holidays - it is better to find out exactly about this from the abbot.

What you need

For those who are far from church life, it is important the question of the cost of the ceremony. It will be different in each temple. Somewhere they may not take money at all, especially if their own parishioners decided to get married. You will only have to pay for the choir, dress, and necessary ritual items (more on this below). Some churches set their own prices, while others have a “price list.” You must first choose a place, then clarify how much money you will need. But in general, the sacrament will cost several times less than an ordinary “civil” wedding. That is why they are often held on the same day.

• There is no need to set the table for the priest. For him, rituals are part of service. The parish minister's time is usually scheduled minute by minute; the priest will have no time to sit at the festive table. Yes, this is not entirely appropriate.

Since a wedding is a church ceremony, appropriate paraphernalia will be required. The bride and groom must wear crosses.

• The rings are chosen according to the taste of the newlyweds - in church shops they are sold with prayers, crosses, etc. Before the start of the ceremony, they must be given to the priest for consecration.
• Parents should bless the young with the help of the images of Jesus Christ and the Mother of God. Previously, they were passed down by inheritance, today most often they buy new ones. You can purchase a special wedding pair.
• Wedding candles - the newlyweds light them during the ceremony. These are usually long twisted candles made specifically for a special occasion. You will also need a towel on which the bride and groom stand during prayers. Traditionally it is white. Everything you need can be bought directly in the temple.

Priests usually ask that guests and witnesses look decent - there should be no bare shoulders or knees. This also applies to the bride. If the dress is open, you should add a cape. A veil is also required, and for other women - scarves.

Regarding shooting, servants can offer their own master. He will know well the procedure during the ceremony and will be able to capture all the key moments. Temples have special rules of conduct; the photographer must know them well. And the shooting is carried out only in motion; you cannot ask the priest to stop in order to “catch” a good angle.

Ritual

It is impossible to say in advance exactly how long a wedding in a church lasts - it depends on the priest, singers, and other participants in the ceremony. Approximately - from 40 minutes to 2 hours. This must be taken into account when planning the start time of subsequent events (usually after the temple everyone goes to the banquet).

The ritual itself is very beautiful, has ancient roots. First, a betrothal ceremony takes place near the entrance. Previously, it was held separately, about a month before the wedding. Now, for the convenience of people, everything is done in one day. During the engagement process, the newlyweds are given candles and then they exchange rings.

Then the bride and groom go to the middle of the temple, stand near the lectern, behind the priest. Guests should be at some distance so as not to interfere with the movements of the priest and his assistant.

Witnesses during the ceremony must hold crowns over the heads of the young. This is physically quite difficult, so you should choose people who are strong and of sufficient height.

• Previously, witnesses played a special role - they vouched before God for the fact that the young people were ready for marriage, and were their spiritual mentors. As a rule, these were mature people, already married and with children. Today, such people as witnesses are not so easy to find, so their presence is rather a tradition.

Several times during the sacrament, the priest will alternately address the young people with questions. They must be answered in Church Slavonic, so the answers should be learned in advance (it is not just “yes” or “no”).

The bride and groom are given wine to drink from the same cup- this symbolizes their future common life. During the sacrament, you will need to mentally pray, and when necessary, make the sign of the cross. You can get married, but still not understand the full meaning of this ceremony. After all, he is, first of all, spiritual. Therefore, you should not do it just for the sake of beautiful pictures.

Church preparation

Before getting married, it is necessary to perform some other church rituals. As a rule, they are advised to take place a couple of days before the ceremony. Both the bride and groom must visit the confessor. After all, you can only call on God’s help for a new family with a pure heart. After this, you must wait to receive communion.

For churchgoers, attending the sacraments will not be something unusual. And if young people don’t go to church often, then they will have to try. You need to read the required number of prayers and do a lot of spiritual work. But this is a great opportunity to delve deeper into the Christian life.

On the wedding day itself you should avoid copious libations, riotous fun, especially quarrels. And in church you must behave appropriately: you cannot talk over each other, be distracted, this prevents those around you from concentrating on the essence of what is happening. This also applies to guests. It is indecent to walk around the temple, turn your back to the icons, or laugh. In this way, disrespect is shown not only for believers who truly pray, but also for God himself. Indeed, in the moments when the priest reads prayers for the young, he asks them for a blessing for the rest of their lives.

The decision to get married must be made by the young unanimously and consciously. They must understand that marriage is serving the Lord, doing His will together. You should not go to church at the behest of your parents or because of fashion. Only with mutual agreement to spend your whole life together can you receive God's blessing for marriage. Otherwise, it will be just a beautiful ceremony.

You will need

• - marriage certificate;
• - candles;
• - icons of the Savior and the Mother of God;
• - cloth;
• - agreement with the priest in the temple;
• - white towel or cloth, towel;
• - money.

Instructions

Prepare for your wedding with fasting, prayer, communion and repentance. On the day of the ceremony you cannot eat, drink, smoke or have sexual relations. The prohibitions are due to the rite of communion that precedes the ceremony. The priest warns about this when you discuss the upcoming holiday.

Agree with the priest at the temple for a specific wedding time. Best in the morning. This must be done at least three days before the event. Show the priest the certificate. If you are planning a ceremony on your wedding day, show the document before the Sacrament begins. The ritual is not performed on even days of the week, during fasting, during (Christmastide, Christmas, Lent, etc.)

Prepare two icons, the Savior and the Mother of God. Buy two wedding candles, they are all sold in the temple. After the wedding, keep them with you; they should be kept for life. Candles must burn throughout the entire Sacrament, so they must be large enough.

Buy a white towel or cloth, a towel. Young people stand on it during the wedding. The plate remains in the temple after the Sacrament.

You should not buy special clothes, it is important that they are clean, neat and quite modest. Wedding dresses are just a tradition. There are no strict instructions in this regard in the Church.

You will not be able to have a wedding if you are an atheist, have a close relationship with your spouse, one of the newlyweds has not been baptized, is officially married to another person, has previously taken a monastic vow or has been ordained to the priesthood. They may not get married if there is a large age difference between the spouses, if the last marriage is the fourth or more in a row.

Establish an obstacle, if there is one, to do this, contact the archbishop, with his consent you will be allowed to perform the Sacrament. This applies to marriages between godparents and godsons, age marriages when one of the spouses is much older than the other, as well as marriages of Orthodox Christians and Catholics or Protestants.

Unbaptized spouses can be admitted to a wedding only after baptism. If the previous marriage was sanctified by the Orthodox Church, before re-wedding it is necessary to obtain permission for divorce and a new marriage from the archbishop. At the same time, he cannot conduct an inquiry about the motives for separating from his ex-spouse.

Invite relatives and friends. The priest who conducts the ceremony cannot be under canonical prohibition (i.e. must be a member of the Orthodox Church, have a deep and firm faith, impeccable morality, mental and spiritual health. The absence of these qualities are canonical obstacles to the priesthood, which are determined by the rules of the saints Soborov). In addition, canonical obstacles are: previously committed criminal offenses, mortal sins (fornication, adultery, greed, etc.), marriage to a divorced woman, monastic vows. If desired, organize photo and video shooting. Book a restaurant or host a banquet at home. Celebrating a wedding is not prohibited.

A wedding in a church is not just a beautiful tradition that confirms the civil bonds of marriage. This sacred rite cements the bond between a man and a woman in the face of God. It should be understood that a church marriage is indissoluble, unlike a civil union. Accordingly, one should take the wedding very seriously.

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And although marriage ceremonies in the registry office and in the church are somewhat similar, there are many more requirements for a wedding. Everything down to the smallest detail is important here - from the mood of the newlyweds to the color of the handkerchief wrapped around the wedding candle. Careful preparation in advance for the wedding ceremony will help to avoid unnecessary worries on this bright day. So, what do you need to know for a wedding in the Orthodox Church and how everything happens.

Social and religious conditions

First of all it is worth considering the basic conditions necessary for a wedding in a church.

Social:

• The wedding couple must be officially married (a marriage certificate is provided).
• Neither spouse should be legally married to a third party.
• Spouses must be of marriageable age. It corresponds to the official marriage age - 18 years. In certain cases, the bride's age may be 16 years.
• The spouses must not be closely related by blood. Marriages of relatives up to the third generation are prohibited.

Religious:

• Both spouses must be baptized.
• In rare cases, marriage is allowed between an Orthodox Christian and a Christian of a non-Orthodox faith (Catholics, Lutherans, etc.). Such a union will be approved if the children born in it are raised in Orthodox traditions.
• Weddings of persons related to the church (godparents, godchildren) are not allowed.
• Wedding is allowed no more than three times in a lifetime. Provided that previous marriages were dissolved according to all the canons of Orthodoxy or the spouse was previously widowed.
• A wedding will not take place if at least one of the newlyweds declares his atheism or coercion into marriage by his parents, future spouse, etc.

When to get married?

If all the basic conditions are met, then it is necessary to select a time for the ceremony. Newlyweds can choose one of four days of the week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday or Sunday. It is worth remembering that weddings do not take place during multi-day fasts - Christmas, Great, Petrov and Uspensky. Also excluded from the calendar are Christmastide (January 7-19), the week before the start of Lent (Maslenitsa) and the week after Easter. You should not count on the dates of the great church holidays - Candlemas (February 15), Ascension of the Lord, Trinity, Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11), Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary (September 21), Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord (September 28), Intercession of the Holy Theotokos ( October 13). The days on the eve of the above dates are also prohibited. Additionally, temple holidays may also fall. These events are determined individually for each temple, therefore, in any case, it is better to first consult with the rector of the church.

Preparation for the wedding

Since a wedding in the Orthodox Church is a spiritual rather than a physical rite, the preparation for it for the most part lies on the plane of the intangible. A prerequisite for a wedding is the communion and confession of the newlyweds. These rituals should be performed 3-4 days before the wedding. It would be optimal to fast for two to three days before this. It should be remembered that on the day of communion, as well as on the day of the wedding, you cannot eat, drink alcohol or have sex. Additionally, you can spiritually tune in to the ritual and turn to God with a prayer for a successful marriage.

But still, when preparing for the wedding, you should not forget about the material attributes of the ceremony. Future spouses need to pay attention to the following points.

Crosses

Pectoral crosses are an indispensable attribute for any person crossing the threshold of the church. This rule applies both the guests of the holiday and the spouses themselves.

Rings

According to ancient tradition, two rings were bought for a wedding - gold and silver. Golden personified sunlight and masculine strength. A silver embodied the image of moonlight and, therefore, the feminine principle. Nowadays, this tradition has practically become a thing of the past. Often identical gold or silver rings are purchased. You can choose models inlaid with precious stones. But it’s still better to give preference to a not very pretentious, flashy option.

The rings must be given to the priest before the ceremony. He places them on the throne for consecration.

Icons

For the wedding ceremony You will need two consecrated icons - Christ and the Virgin Mary. The images will symbolize the masculine and feminine principles. After the event, these icons are certainly sent to the newlyweds’ house. It is best to place them in the red corner. These symbols are a powerful amulet. In the old days, wedding icons were kept in families for many generations and passed from parents to children.

Candles

During the wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church, the newlyweds hold church candles in their hands. They can be purchased at your local church store. Usually you can purchase special holiday candles for weddings. It is also worth preparing two beautiful small scarves. Those getting married use them to wrap candles so that the wax does not burn their hands during the ceremony.

Wedding candles are also kept in the home of the newlyweds throughout their lives.

According to popular belief, these attributes have strong protective abilities. In particular, candles are used as a talisman during a difficult pregnancy of a wife.

Towels, towels

For the ceremony it is necessary to prepare two festive towels. These can be towels decorated with wedding protective symbols, or elegant white cuts. Sometimes pieces of white fabric are used.

One of the towels is laid under the feet of the newlyweds, and the other is bandaged on their hands. These attributes also need to be preserved to ensure a happy life for the spouses.

Bride's dress

The bride always wears a white dress for her wedding. Bare shoulders or chest are not allowed in church, so you should choose a more closed, discreet model. If the purchased dress does not satisfy this condition, then you can use a cape, jacket, or coat.

Bride Must be in church with head covered. This could be a veil, hat or other headdress. It is worth considering that the rule of covering the head applies not only to the bridegroom, but also to any representative of the fair sex who has crossed the age barrier of 4 years.

Procedure, order and how long does a wedding in the Orthodox Church last?

The actual wedding ceremony takes from 40 minutes to an hour. But, taking into account the expectations, you should tune in to a ritual lasting up to two hours.

It must be remembered that during the wedding the bride should always be to the left of her future spouse.

The couple holds wedding candles in their left hand. The right hand is required to make the sign of the cross. Therefore, it is better to hand the bride’s wedding bouquet into the hands of close guests. To be clear, you need to be baptized at the same time the priest does it. The couple will need witnesses and best men. A baptized man and woman should be chosen for this position. Their duties include, in particular, holding the crowns over the heads of the newlyweds.

Initially, a betrothal ceremony is performed. The action takes place in front of the entrance to the church. The priest blesses the newlyweds three times and hands them lighted candles. After reading a short prayer, the priest puts the ring on the groom’s finger. Next, the newlyweds exchange rings three times. This process symbolizes the transfer of power over oneself to the spouse. Now the couple is officially considered the bride and groom. Next comes the wedding itself. The priest leads the couple into the center of the temple, stopping them in front of the lectern. Prayers will be read almost throughout the ceremony. The most touching moment is the sacramental phrase “I take you to be my husband (wife).” The priest gives the newlyweds the crowns and wedding icons to kiss. The newlyweds also drink church wine three times from a special bowl. This part of the ritual symbolizes that from now on the couple will divide everything in their lives in half. At the end, the newly-made husband and wife are led around the lectern three times. The priest gives the last instructions, and the guests are already rushing with congratulations.

Photo and video shooting during a wedding in an Orthodox church

It is worth remembering that a wedding in the Orthodox Church is a sacrament. Staged photos are not possible here. The operator can only shoot in reportage format. Under no circumstances should you pass between the newlyweds and the Royal Doors. And in many churches, filming is allowed only at the entrance.

Video about how and by what rules the wedding ceremony takes place in the Orthodox Church:

When preparing for a wedding ceremony in a church, it is undoubtedly worth paying attention to the choice of necessary accessories, the time and place of the ritual itself. But still, behind all this fuss, the main thing is not to lose the very sacred meaning of this ancient ritual. After all, after a church marriage, a man and a woman become one in the eyes of people and God himself.

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