How to learn to trust yourself and other people? How to learn to trust people: practical advice.

Trust is a key factor in starting and maintaining a constructive relationship. Trusting someone can mean both the ability to share your deepest secrets, and be sure that a person will always come to a meeting on time. There are different levels of trust, but they all require you to have faith in other people.

Steps

How to build trust

Start trusting first. It's not easy to take the initiative, but it will be much easier for you to build trust if you can take the first step. Start small - tell a personal story from the past, reveal a little secret, or ask someone out on a date. If he turns out to be rude or reserved, then you can try your luck with other people. But if you are reciprocated or shown sympathy by sharing a similar story or agreeing to a date, then this will be the first mutual step towards a trusting relationship.

Trust takes time. It cannot be instantly turned on or off. Trust is born over time, grows stronger with relationships. Start trusting people on the little things (show up to meetings on time, help out with small things) before trusting the big secret.

• There is no need to judge a person already at the first meeting.

1. Gradually learn to open up to people. The ability to share secrets, fears and fears requires a lot of trust. The ability to share emotions with people often comes in the later stages of a relationship, when trust has already developed between you. Begin to open up to the person gradually, observe the response, and only then show deep trust. When sharing personal experiences with others, ask yourself a few questions:

   • Is the person interested in what I'm talking about? Mutual care is essential for trust.
   • Does the person tell you information about himself? Trust requires reciprocity, because both parties must feel calm and confident in order to share experiences.
   • Do you receive neglect and condescension in response, do not pay attention to your feelings and worries? Trust is impossible without respect.

2. Different people deserve different levels of trust. There is no “set” level of trust for everyone around. You will provide only the minimum necessary trust to some people (employees or new acquaintances), and you will be able to trust your own life to others. It is better not to divide people into two categories of “deserving” and “not deserving” trust, but to perceive trust as a wide range.

   Watch people's actions and behavior, not words. Promises are easy to make, but harder to keep. Pay attention to behavior, not words, to determine how trustworthy people are. If you are asking for a favor, hold your judgment until your request is fulfilled. Attention to actions instead of words helps to look at a person objectively, to build trust solely on facts.

   You must be trustworthy in return. To build trust in a relationship, the person must also trust you. If you are constantly violating given word, telling other people's secrets or being late for meetings, then people will do the same to you. Don't forget the needs of other people. Offer help and advice, listen to other people's experiences to build mutual trust.

   Remember that there are no perfect people. Alas, any person can make a mistake - being late for a meeting, unwittingly revealing a secret, or being selfish. If you expect everyone to try to “earn your trust”, then they will all fail sometimes. The ability to trust implies the ability to see the whole picture, and not just random oversights.

   • Untrustworthy people regularly make the same mistakes or refuse to apologize for the problems they create.

3. Trust yourself. If you believe in a person, then trust your instincts. Believing in yourself not only allows you to trust others, but also allows you to move on if someone betrays your trust. Be happy and emotionally stable. This will make it easier for you to take risks and trust other people.

   How to find trustworthy people

   1. Trustworthy people are always reliable and punctual. The people you trust value your time and opinion, so they won't always put their best interests first. Being late for appointments, dates, or events is the first sign of a lack of reliability.

      • Use this rule within reason, because we can all be late for a meeting sometimes. It is much worse when people are always late or cancel and reschedule meetings.

   2. Reliable people keep their promises. What a person says is often very different from his deeds, but reliable people try to keep their word. For the presence of trust, it is important to know that a person will do what he promised to do. For example, reliable people:

      Reliable people don't lie. Liars are the hardest to trust because you never know what they really have in mind. If you were able to uncover someone else's lies, even minor ones, then this is the first sign that the person is not trustworthy. Note to yourself all cases of strong exaggeration and harmless lies. If this happens regularly, then you should not trust such a person.

      Reliable people always know how to trust in return. Your trusted friend would rather open up to you than keep his distance. They understand that trust is a two-way street, and you should be comfortable sharing your feelings if people reciprocate. Trusting you signals that the person values ​​your friendship and your opinion. It is unlikely that he will do something that can ruin your relationship.

      Pay attention to what the person says about others. If he constantly tells you other people's secrets or says phrases like “He asked me not to tell you about it, but ...”, then there is a high probability that the same fate will befall your own secrets. The behavior of people in your presence indicates how they behave in your absence. If you think that others should not trust this person, then you should not trust him either.

   How to re-learn to trust after emotional trauma

   Difficulty in establishing trust after an injury is normal. After difficult events, many become defensive and begin to experience trust issues. This is the instinct of self-preservation - by trusting others, you become vulnerable to future pain. So, by not trusting people, you protect yourself from suffering. Don't beat yourself up about it. Better admit your suffering and try to learn from the mistakes of the past.

   Remember that the behavior of one person does not reflect the behavior of everyone else. Among others, there are bad, evil and unreliable people in the world. However, most people are kind and reliable, so don't let a bad event or person ruin your ability to trust others. Always remember that the world is not without good people.

   1. Do not rush to conclusions. Often, when we get offended, angry, or upset, we give vent to our emotions and make the situation worse. Before you decide to stop trusting a person, ask yourself some rational questions:

      • What do I know about what happened?
      • What am I guessing about this person?
      • How did I behave in this situation? Was my behavior trustworthy?

Trust in a loved one is an integral part happy relationship. And if it is very easy to lose it, then it is quite difficult to return it. So how do you learn to trust your loved one? To get an answer to this question, you need, first of all, to understand yourself and your attitude towards young man.

It is worth considering why a person who seems to be dear and loved is still not trusted. Maybe he has not yet earned this trust, or has already lost it? If the reason is in the first, then you should reconsider your attitude towards others. Often, women on a subconscious level cannot trust men, which is due to unsuccessful romances in the past. In this case, you need to change your mind about the male half of the population. You need to understand for yourself that not all men are bastards, traitors and womanizers. It is important to remember that the past remains in the past, and current love is perhaps a gift of fate. Therefore, the first rule - you can not think of men the same way. All of them - different people with your thoughts and actions. Do not be afraid to make a mistake, because it is by making mistakes that we live - otherwise it's boring!

A girl's distrust of a guy can induce anything. A frequent problem of two people on initial stage relationship is a lack of trust in each other. This does not mean that the girl does not want to open up to the guy and trust him. On the contrary, she may want to, but she is afraid of being misunderstood. Perhaps she has some secrets that she is afraid to tell the young man, even though she wants to do it. Or problems that she cannot solve alone, but out of a sense of either pride or independence, she does not share them with her beloved. But it’s worth considering: maybe it’s still worth sharing your experiences with your loved one? After all, together it is much easier to solve any problem, and if he really loves, he will never leave him in a difficult situation. But the guy can regard silence and passionate attempts to hide something as distrust. Hence the second rule - do not hide your problems from your loved one, but try to solve them together.

It should be remembered that a relationship in which people do not trust each other cannot be called happy. That is why it is so important to learn to trust your loved one. After all, only by trusting a person can you truly love him and remain confident in him.

But, as already mentioned, trust is very easy to lose. So how do you learn to trust your loved one if he has already lost trust, if he has already deceived and betrayed? It would seem that the best way out of the situation is to stop communicating with this person. That should have been done, only if... He wouldn't still be loved the same way. In this situation, it is important to understand why the young man acted like a traitor. Failure to provide assistance at a difficult moment, betrayal, failure to fulfill any particularly important request, deceit - all this can be considered as a betrayal that breeds distrust. The surest and simplest solution that allows you to understand the mean act of a loved one is to talk to him. We need to find out what made the guy do it. After all, he most likely guessed that his act would not bring his beloved anything but pain and disappointment. However, he did what he did. To forgive him or not - each girl decides for herself. But already from a conversation with a young man it will be clear whether he repents of his act or not. Therefore, the third rule - if a young man is so dear that it is not possible to leave him, you should not draw conclusions without finding out the reasons why the guy committed a mean act.

Suppose that a loved one received forgiveness. But how to trust a guy who has already betrayed once? After all, regaining trust is always much more difficult than earning forgiveness. How to trust a young man again, knowing that he has already deceived once, which means that it doesn’t cost him anything to deceive a second time? But maybe the reason lies in itself? You should think: if a young man is really dear and you don’t want to lose him at all, and even if he has already received forgiveness, is there any point in distrusting him? No one says that it will be easy for a person who has once deceived to open up again, but it is necessary to do this. No one gives a guarantee that a person will not betray again, but perhaps only in this way, falling and rising, one can find happiness.

Psychologists have noticed that relationships where a man lost the trust of a woman, and then regained it, are much stronger and more reliable than those in which everything is smooth and peaceful. This once again confirms that even if you make a mistake, there is always a chance to fix everything. The main thing is to let a man understand that by his act he risks losing not only trust, but also the respect of his beloved woman.

Thus, trust in a loved one in most cases depends only on oneself. You need to be able to overcome your own fears of failure and forget past disappointments - only then does it become possible to feel happy next to your loved one.

In this part of the article, I will share with you practices that will help you learn to trust yourself.

And you will soon notice that it is not only useful activity but also very exciting.

Will you stop be in doubt stop regretting the mistakes you have made or being afraid to make new ones.

Because the understanding comes that any of your decisions will lead you to the right path.

That a mistake is just pointer: "You're heading in the wrong direction, change course."

And the sooner the vision of the fallacy of your decision appears, the sooner you will turn in the direction you need.

It is important to understand that error is not losing, the error is guidance in the direction of travel.

Bonus for readers:

6. Let the Higher Powers take care of you

It is not always possible to cope with the situation on your own, because there are many options for solutions. And to find the right one among this multitude, sometimes, restrictions interfere.

So when a question comes up that you don't know how to solve, let go of the situation and pass the solution Higher Powers.

Express the intention that everything will happen in the most favorable way for you.

We incarnate on Earth not alone, each of us is accompanied by a huge team of support for non-physical beings.

But do not forget to contact them for help and support.

Your assistants are very interested in a positive outcome of the circumstances, but they have no right to interfere and help without your permission.

Once you have passed the resolution on to your support team, be alert and watch for signs and clues.

Live a normal life, go about your daily business and at the same time stay aware and observe what events are happening around you, how the situation unfolds.

What thoughts come and what feelings are caused by everything that happens.

What is consonant with you, and what the Soul responds to. Believe that the solution to your situation is already there, you only need to understand and see his.

All the best for us comes from above. And this is precisely the value of this method in solving difficult situations.

The Universe itself makes adjustments and creates circumstances, moreover, in a better and safer direction for you. You only need trust her.

7. Replace "mistakes" with "experience"

Recall a time when you thought you made a mistake.

And after the expiration of time, you realized that without this mistake, you would not be where you are now.

For example: You got a job, but the company went bankrupt and quickly closed. You, left without a livelihood, concluded that you mistakenly chose this company as successful.

But at this firm you met a man with whom you opened your new business together, and now you are very successful.

You gained experience at the first firm and implemented this experience on your own.

I'm sure there have been many such situations in your life. Remember them, analyze them, find important turning points leading to the realization of your desires.

So you learn concentrate not on mistakes, but on experience that the situation gave you.

If there are situations in which you have not yet been able to find a pearl, know that at that moment, that version of you could not have done otherwise.

When making decisions, be prepared to see any outcome as an experience and adversity as an opportunity for something greater.

Learn to use any circumstances to your advantage.

Trust in life allows you to take risks where others retreat.

This is the advice that Alena shares with the participants of the accompanying webinar for clients of the training center “Keys of Mastery”.

“At least listen to the signals of the body. Pay attention to the signs around, these are elementary things.

That's what I remember. At one time I played games, made guesses, but I rather got answers to questions there.

When in doubt, or rather, you do not have information, and I am one of those people for whom ignorance is much worse than knowing something bad.

I stood in line and wondered.

You know, there are such children's fortune-tellers: if you look out the window, a man will pass, then this; a woman will pass, then this. That's the kind of thing."

Remember that your true adviser is within you.

Trust that the moment will come when you will no longer ask for advice and will no longer need confirmation.

When you stop giving advice to other people, and you will not need to convince anyone or anything.

You will learn to live your own life in trust and allow others to do the same.

Examples of self-confidence

I want to show you a couple of examples of how everything goes well with our girls, when they completely trust themselves and believe that everything will certainly happen for the good.

Perhaps you are already familiar with some practices, or perhaps you have your own exercises in reserve or interesting cases associated with intuition and self-confidence.

What helped you learn to trust yourself? And what remains to be done?

The closest people in my life betrayed me in the most unthinkable way ... What? Are you not there yet?

Aren't they the ones that hurt the most? The ones close enough to really fuck up your life, the ones you were sure of, the ones you shared holidays, evenings and long nights with. Those who betrayed me.

So how do you start trusting again? How to trust after being betrayed like this? The million dollar question. For me, it's even a trillion dollar question. Because few people reach such heights, or rather, such falls. And, frankly, the answer is not even visible.

Therefore, I ask again: how to start trusting after betrayal? After when you were so open in your love and you got stabbed in the back so you were left with broken hearted broken friendship, or, in my case, you lost your freedom and acquired a shameful name.

These people are coming back. They say they love you, they miss you, and sometimes you might even believe it. At some point, you definitely want it. Once you share good memories with someone, it's hard to let them go. But when you've been cut as bad as me, your self-preservation instinct kicks in on just about anyone you thought you could trust. And you just kick everyone out of your life.

But recently I noticed that when I meet new people, I communicate with them quite openly. It has become for me pleasant surprise. I can still be open, people can recognize me and I can recognize them. But how do you know who is sincere with me and who is not, when those who were supposed to cover your back threw you under the train?

But I'm not going to sit and cry over it. I just want to find clarity in my life. After things like this happened to me, the heart seems to be tempered. I can talk quite openly about everything that I have experienced, but not savor the details. Enough. I want to experience it. And I want it not to happen again. How to do it?

How to trust a kiss when the one who kissed you last time went after that to your girlfriend and cheated with her? How to trust relatives who called your miscarriage a set-up, as if you yourself wanted to kill your child? How to trust friends who set you up and now you have to answer before the law?

I think the answer lies in trusting your instincts. Honing soy intuitive abilities and again try to trust. Because otherwise - isolation, loneliness, but that's enough for me. I've spent enough time by myself and it wasn't terribly bad, because it's an opportunity for me to express my creative side. I'd rather be alone than in bad company, not to mention dangerous so-called friends.

Betrayal is no joke. I think a lot of people have experienced it in one way or another throughout their lives. But we can never be ready for that, can we? And in that sense, it's like death. A blow and you fell apart into pieces, into cells.

People are causing harm. Yesterday my friend put on a T-shirt that said "Guns don't kill people, I kill people". And it is true. A person is not killed by a bullet, but by the one who decides to fire this bullet. People betray people.

You decide: are you a snitch or not? Are you a liar or not? Are you hurting or not? These are all solutions. And when someone makes a decision that messes up your life, and in my case, destroys it, you can't forget it. You cannot forget this person. Or maybe you can, but you don't have to. And you can't forget that next person who comes in his place can also do the same.

To say I have trust issues is putting it mildly. But it suits me. Because at least I'm aware of my problem. And betrayal usually creeps up out of nowhere and turns your life inside out before you can even blink.

I always say that the most important kind of love is self-love. And like relationships with other people, it is also based on trust. After all, the worst thing is to lose confidence and faith in yourself. I had this a few years ago.

But it is worth saying that there is something positive in this - in the fact that you are betrayed. This not only tests your resilience, but often opens up the possibility of a fresh start. This is how I prefer to look at things. New friends, new love, new acquaintances, new places. It pushes you out of your comfort zone, especially if you've always doubted it. I always wanted to break out of my circumstances before I was forced out of them. And I believe that these are the mysterious works of God.

Everything I've been through has a purpose. If I myself had left earlier, then I would have doubted for a long time, what would happen if. And in moments of weakness, she could return. And so I waited until time itself showed me true face my former loved ones. As Rihanna sang, darkness is light. In difficult dark times, everything becomes clear, people show their true face.

Trust is a wonderful thing. The proof is that I miss him. And when the time is right, I will find it again. I didn't always make the right decisions, but always from pure motives. Which, unfortunately, I cannot say about the people who surrounded me.