Depression. What to say to a person? Providing Effective Support as the True Art of Empathy

diets 13.10.2019
diets

Bad things happen in everyone's life. Someone outwardly calmly survives death, but for someone, a reprimand at work or a failed exam at the institute becomes a real disaster. In moments of crisis, the participation of others is able to reassure and help believe in yourself again. What words of encouragement Hard time you can speak? Is everyone around you worth empathizing with?

When can you pry into other people's business?

To remain indifferent to the problems of a loved one, close friend or relative is at least uncivilized. Even if what happened seems like a mere trifle to you, you need to give the “victim” the opportunity to speak out. Try to give some useful advice on solving an existing problem, or simply express your sympathy. Do you need your words of support in difficult times for a casual acquaintance or an ordinary friend? it controversial issue. Many people feel embarrassed when they learn about the death of the husband of "Masha from the neighboring department at work" and do not know how to respond correctly. Sticking with your formal condolences to a person who works in the same office building with you is not always decent. But if we are talking about a classmate at the institute with whom you regularly meet for coffee and chatting about trifles, it’s already impolite to ignore what happened. The most appropriate thing in this situation would be to briefly express your condolences or regrets and offer help.

What to say to a loved one?

Sometimes it seems to us that we know and understand our friends better than ourselves. But something happens, and it is not at all clear what kind of support a friend should have in difficult times. If a person is in the mood to talk, be sure to give him this opportunity. Try to retire somewhere where no one can overhear you. Do not pester with additional questions, but just listen and show interest with all your appearance. But not all people are used to sharing their problems. If your friend is from this category and does not start the conversation first, it is better to let him calm down and not bother with questions. You should not give obsessive advice, but it is permissible to tell how you would act in such a situation.

How to rehabilitate a friend?

Some problems can be solved. With others, it remains only to reconcile. In the first case, the task loved one- help your friend calm down and take action quickly. In the second type of situation, the only way you can help is to try to distract your comrade. The most important thing is to choose the right strategy. If your friend has a loved one in an accident, he is unlikely to want to go to the club to have fun. But visiting the hospital together, walking together for a leisurely conversation is a completely different matter. Of course, the support of a friend in difficult times implies real help. If possible, offer to live together for some time, take on some of the household chores and offer the injured party a good night's sleep and rest.

What do you do when your loved one is in trouble?

Supporting a loved one is extremely difficult. It is important to remember that your view of the problem may be completely different from the perception of the situation by your partner. Much easier for men understand their women, than vice versa. The fair sex is emotional, many ladies like to not only describe in detail what happened, but also talk about their feelings. The man only needs to listen. A common mistake that many husbands make: only after learning about the problem, they begin to look for solutions. It's not exactly the right tactic. A woman must first pity and reassure. And only after that you can make some attempts to solve the problem. It is quite possible that real action it is not required, but it is enough to find words of support in difficult times and remind them of their love and willingness to help.

How to help a beloved man survive the dark streak?

If in a couple troubles occurred with a representative of the stronger sex, a woman should gain wisdom. For some men, problems are only new lessons, while for others, any failure is the end of the world. The main rule is the same as when communicating with any other person. You can not try to find out more than your interlocutor is trying to tell you. Support for a loved one in difficult times can also be based on a complete disregard for the problem. It’s worth behaving as if nothing had happened, trying to please your spouse with some little things. Some men need encouragement. It would be appropriate to say that, thanks to the strong qualities of character, they will be able to change and improve everything. The most important thing is to avoid criticism. Even if the current situation occurred due to the mistake and shortcoming of your spouse, you should not remind him of this. Suffice it to say that everything will definitely be as it was or even better.

How to console the patient?

Health problems are the most serious. No wonder they say that you can buy everything except longevity and your well-being. What words of support for a sick person will really help? If the disease is not serious, try to cheer up your interlocutor and jokingly call for a speedy recovery. It would be useful to recall what awaits the patient after discharge from the hospital. Promise to go together to some interesting place or take a long-awaited walk. It will also encourage the patient that his presence is not enough for everyone.

What about those who are seriously ill?

If the disease is serious enough, it is necessary to please the patient with every little thing and try to support him. good mood. Daily let's set the fact that a cure is possible. Tell about people who have successfully overcome this disease, and try to introduce your relative or friend to one of them, even if only virtually, using the Internet.

Should parents be supported?

It is not always easy to find words of support for a loved one. How to behave if your parents have problems? Between relatives so close, there should be no secrets. But for parents, we remain children at any age, and for this reason it is difficult for them to talk about their troubles and admit their own weaknesses. Words must be chosen very carefully. Whatever you say, it should not call into question the authority of the parents. best tactic there will be the usual care and participation. Show your attention, and, most likely, mom or dad will not only tell everything, but maybe even ask for help or advice. If a person is depressed and does not seek to find a way out of this situation, you should help him tune in a more positive way. Try something to distract your parents or just talk, remembering the past. The most important thing is not to panic and not rush to act. Once calm comes, you can think about the current situation and find the best way to solve this problem.

How can you help your child deal with problems?

Instruction

In order to support a person close to you during an illness, first of all you need to make it clear that he remains the same dear and necessary for you. And even if the disease has disrupted some of your plans for work, personal life, travel, explain that his condition will not become a burden or burden for you, and caring for him is an important part of your life.

Speak words of love and encouragement. Spend more time with a sick person, talk with him. Share the news and events that happened at your work or throughout the day. Ask for advice. Thus, you emphasize that your attitude towards your loved one has not changed because he is healthy or sick. You still appreciate and value his opinion.

Patients, even in a state of coma, are able to distinguish the voices of relatives, and may also experience certain feelings. Therefore, the kind words you uttered will only have a positive impact on a loved one. Speak even if you think you can't be heard.

Think of an activity that would give pleasure to the person you are caring for during illness. You can just watch some TV program together, read a book, listen to music. If this is a child, do some crafts with him, draw a picture, assemble a mosaic. The main thing is your presence and participation. In a state of illness, many feel lonely, so a joint activity is just what can bring joy and encouragement to a person who is sick.

Try to entertain and distract the patient from his illness. Create a cozy atmosphere in the room where it is located. If this is a hospital, bring any household items, photographs, books there. You can bring your favorite from home indoor plant. If the patient is at home, give him a gift without waiting for a special occasion. Most oncologists, being depressed, tend to "give up." Therefore, by showing care of this kind, you set an example of faith that he, like you, has a tomorrow, and therefore a healthy future.

If the disease is not infectious, invite friends to visit. Prepare your favorite meal. Drinking tea with friends or work colleagues may improve your mood and give you strength to fight the disease.

Useful advice

And most importantly, don't forget about yourself. Look for the positive in every situation, communicate with friends and family. Exercise, eat well. If you have a healthy mindset, an optimistic attitude, and a lot of patience, the sick person next to you will feel comfortable and secure.

Sometimes it can be difficult to find words to express support for a loved one. But it is very important that a loved one feels your faith in him, especially in a difficult situation. Sometimes only this faith helps to avoid many mistakes caused by the desire to prove something to others, and sometimes it helps to get back on your feet and start living with renewed vigor.

Instruction

Believe in the power of your loved one human and in his success. Not in words - it should be an inner conviction. Always consider your loved one human the best in the world. It inspires and inspires confidence. Emphasize, constantly remind about the best qualities of a loved one human, his strengths, especially if a person for some reason feels insecure.

Get rid of the habit of criticizing and doubting. If you want to warn about some consequences or express your feelings, then express only your feelings and fears and only on your own behalf. Use "I-statements", say "I'm worried about the consequences" instead of "you always get yourself into something".

Think positively, wish sincerely success in all endeavors of your loved one. Express to him more often words of approval and support, your understanding and acceptance. If a person is deeply worried, listen more to him. It often happens that by speaking out, a person comes to a decision easier and faster, takes steps forward in overcoming painful experiences and doubts.

Create an atmosphere of goodwill and peace at home. A house is really a fortress that brings a sense of security to a person, gives strength and confidence. Filling it with positive, comfort, calmness and understanding, you will create a favorable background for the moral and psychological support of your loved one. human.

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  • love words of support

In everyone's life human There are situations when the support of relatives and friends is needed. You can not always help with something, but there is an opportunity to provide moral support even in the most critical cases. If you want to support a friend or acquaintance word, and, as luck would have it, absolutely nothing comes to mind, read carefully. You may find information in the manual that is useful to you.

Instruction

In any situation, try to look for the positive. Sometimes a person is so upset or exhausted by constant experiences that the search bright sides he just doesn't have the strength. Try to find something positive yourself and cheer up your friend. Turning a story into a joke may not always be appropriate, so try to cheer up more carefully, but here's to sad story a certain amount of optimism you can. Of course, there are situations in life in which there is absolutely no and cannot be anything good. You should not look for positive moments in the death of loved ones or a serious illness - you will only completely ruin a person’s mood and can turn him against yourself.


At first glance, there is nothing difficult in supporting a person in difficult times or sympathizing with him when necessary. And yet, so many people find it incredibly difficult to find the right words in situations where they are needed most. How to support a person in difficult times and what to say? There is no universal "recipe". And yet, you can learn to understand which words are relevant in which situations. This will allow you to find exactly the support that a person needs most.

Faith and trust

In general, people in life speak very little and hear phrases such as "I believe in you" or "I trust you." Moreover, psychologists believe that it is precisely the lack of direct expressions of feelings and support that leads people to withdraw and "go into themselves." That is why it is very important not to be shy to say such words to a person. Of course, it is desirable to speak them sincerely, but even if you have doubts, such support will be very useful.

Also, do not confuse the issue of faith and trust. In the first case, it is rather about how parents believe in their child, the wife - in her husband, and so on. But trust, rather, is relevant for friends, comrades, colleagues and those who need to know your attitude towards them. Therefore, when your relatives, friends or acquaintances have any problems or difficulties, just say that you believe in them. As a rule, sometimes already such a small step will be enough for support.

no pity

Often you can meet those who, due to the inability to sympathize or a complete misunderstanding of their words, begin to express pity. It is worth remembering that pitying someone and expressing sympathy or regret are completely different concepts. In most cases, pity will not console or support anyone. Rather, such words will make a person even more withdrawn into himself and feel unnecessary. No wonder it is pity that is considered one of the most destructive feelings.
Therefore, even if you are talking to a very sick person and trying to support him, do not express pity. Instead, try to bring a smile and create a good mood.

condolences

In most cases, people have the hardest time finding the right words when it comes to death and burial. How do you support someone who has just lost a family member or friend while experiencing boundless grief? Many people believe that words are completely unnecessary in such situations, but often this is not the case. It's best to say what you think. People always feel sincerity and reciprocate it.

Even if you find it difficult to find the right words in such a situation, try to offer any help you can. Show that you share the grief and are ready to support the person.


Support and inspiration

Often, support has a lot to do with inspiration. It is enough to say a couple of necessary words so that a person not only gains faith in himself, but also finds the strength to overcome any difficulties. Most often, this type of support is distributed in families. For example, when a husband or wife decides to change jobs and begins to doubt whether they can find a decent job, there is nothing better than support. Faith of the most dear people can inspire any person, but it is worth understanding that it needs to be expressed, and not kept in oneself. Not all people are able to understand and “read” even those people with whom they have lived for years, therefore, in the right situations, it is important to say everything that you think.

Not without reason, most creative people can repeatedly increase their performance and aspiration if they have a source of inspiration. Otherwise, they will not be able to do even what they have always done without much difficulty. Furthermore, creative person far from always even words are needed, it is enough to support him with presence or attention.

support for depression

The most common situations when people need support are bad mood, depression and various problems. It is in such cases that the words of a friend, girlfriend, relative, or even work colleague can “pull” a person out of the abyss of despair and bring him back to life again. Psychologists always emphasize that people are social beings, therefore the desire to constantly cope with problems alone, although it can train character and willpower, will never make you live in happiness and harmony.

In the life of every person, a variety of events constantly occur. Unfortunately, not all of them bring joy and happiness. Often we and our loved ones have to feel pain, resentment and experience real grief. It is very hard to watch the suffering of loved ones and relatives. In such situations, many are lost and do not know what to say, how to support a person.

Unleash your feelings

Emotions should not accumulate. The person must throw them out. Help him express sadness, resentment, disappointment, i.e. all those negative feelings who currently own it. Only by releasing them outside, you can feel relief. Some people, when in deep sadness, withdraw into themselves. In such a situation, it is necessary to show some ingenuity and provoke a person into a conversation.

Offer Help

Offering help to people in a critical situation is a must. You are unlikely to be able to alleviate grief, but you can still do something. It can be cooking, cleaning the house, or in general, everything that a loved one is now unable to do. The main thing is to do it regularly and from a pure heart.

Listen

Many people like to talk, but not everyone can listen. If you don't know depressed, then just listen carefully to it. Do not interrupt and let him say everything that has accumulated. Express your concern and sympathy, and let the person know that you understand his grief.

stay close

You must understand that right now, more than ever, a friend is needed. Postpone as much as possible all the cases and devote as much time as possible to it. Try to remove the source of the person's suffering, if possible. Try to avoid common phrases. In most cases, this is more annoying than helpful.

Try to distract

When you think about how to support a person in a difficult situation, the thought often comes to mind that you just need to distract him. Go to the cinema, theater, exhibition, club and so on together. A change of scenery will definitely help. Your loved one will be able to forget about problems and worries at least for a while.

be patient

People who are depressed are unbalanced, quick-tempered and extremely irritable. When communicating with them, this should be taken into account. If you do not know how to support a person, but you are going to visit him, remember this. Be patient and be prepared for anything.

Advise

After the person has cried and spoken out, it's time to give good advice. Tell us what you think about the current situation. Perhaps you have your own experience of similar experiences. Don't give empty advice. Be sure to imagine yourself in a similar situation. Unlike your loved one, you have the ability to reason and look for a way out. If you see that a friend is wrong, do not be shy and do not be afraid to tell him about it. It's better to be you than someone else.

Act according to the situation

Each person has his own unique character. Each of us feels and thinks differently. It is impossible to pick up any template of actions. You need to act according to the situation. Remember that the main thing is sincere attention and empathy, participation and the desire to provide support in difficult times. It is quite difficult to take into account all the nuances, but if you can, a friend will be eternally grateful to you for being there.

Knowing how to support a person, you can always come to the rescue. In this way, you will not only save him, but also make it clear that you - a true friend. And when you need help, you can be sure that it will come. In addition, good deeds always cheer up and fill life with meaning.

Words of support are not just sympathy, thanks to them you express your participation in the problems, troubles and grief of another person. Of course, there are no standard blank phrases that will be correct in a certain situation, suitable for a man or a woman, a grandmother or young man. It is very important that the words come from the heart, are permeated with your feelings, but also forget about some human factors not worth it either.

For example, be prepared that a person who is worried about something may react differently to your words, be more quick-tempered, not compromise, etc. In addition, words that will calm nervous system women may be misunderstood by men and vice versa. Therefore, it is necessary to observe not only tolerance, correctness and subordination, but also take into account the peculiarities of this situation.

Your soulmate should always feel your support, because you are a support for her in difficult situation, a vest in grief and a person with whom happiness is shared. Be sure to say again about your feelings, repeat that there are two of you, and it is easier to overcome any difficulties together.

Be sure to express your feelings:

  • "It hurts me to see you upset"
  • "I'm just as worried as you are."

This wording brings you closer, makes the conversation more frank and creates a trusting atmosphere. And if you can’t find the right words or you see that the words are superfluous now, just stay close. Sometimes no words can replace the presence of a loved one.

Words to a man in difficult times

Men react much more sharply to life's troubles, believing that they are responsible for everything, because they have been taught this way since childhood. But in fact, there are situations when the man’s fault is not in what happened, but he still reproaches himself. In this case, you need to be as gentle as possible, not persistently and not aggressively (after all, we remember that upset people are prone to unexpected reactions to any of our words), to convince the man that you do not need to blame yourself.

Suitable phrases:

  • "Your fault this case No",
  • “This is a combination of circumstances independent of you,” etc.

It is important to help a man stop self-flagellation and start looking for a solution to the problem.

Never express your sympathy through the adjectives "poor", "unfortunate", do not say that you are so sorry for him. On the contrary, you need to encourage him with phrases about how strong he is in spirit, that his vital energy is enough to cope with more difficult tasks. If you say that a man is very smart and will find a way out of this situation, then his ambitions simply will not let him sit in one place with a sad expression on his face. To confirm your words, the man will begin to act.

Woman - support in your own words

A woman, on the contrary, must first be reassured, perhaps later you won’t have to look for solutions to problems, everything can go away with hysteria. Finding words of support is very important in such a situation. For example, if the reason bad mood- a break with a man, then make a compliment about her attractive appearance, say that she is a good housewife and is still quite young.

Well, if the situation allows you to be distracted and do other things, walking, entertainment, cooking new dishes - all this can distract a woman from sad thoughts.

Girl - words in difficult times

Young girls in stressful situations can make extremely rash acts. Therefore, it is important not only to calm them down and distract them from the problem, but also to isolate them from important matters and tasks as much as possible. Try to dip the young lady in a sea of ​​positive emotions, avoid the standard phrases: “Everything will be fine”, “Everything will pass”, “I sympathize”, etc. They will only aggravate the situation.

Be sure to try to talk to the girl about how she feels, help release all her negative emotions, and then set her up in a positive way or help find a way out of a difficult problem for her.

A friend in a difficult situation

To whom, no matter how best friend, the girl in a difficult situation will address? Of course, initially you need to listen to your girlfriend, especially if you see that a person wants to speak out. The presentation of the problem relieves the soul and helps to look at the problem from the outside. Words of consolation, advice - what the girl obviously wants to hear in response, so do not hesitate to express your constructive thought, just remember that in this situation you need to present your position gently and not persistently.

SMS to a person in difficult times

If you suddenly found out about the problem of a close person you just know, and there is no way to be near him, then you can always send a short message with words of support. No need for long epithets about your sympathy.

Sometimes just texting is enough:

  • “I know what happened. You can always count on my help."

These two sentences are rather short, but their meaning will be clear immediately. Don't expect an immediate response, it may take a certain amount of time for a person to decide to ask you for support or just talk about their problem. But when your loved one knows that you are ready to share the burden of the situation with him, immediately the world will seem a little rosier to him.

Words of support in prose

Even if you send a message with words of support to social network or by phone, let them be better in prose. So, you express your words sincerely and in an accessible way. Otherwise, the recipient may get the impression that instead of a call or a personal visit, you searched for a rhyme on the Internet, and then simply copied it and sent it. This will spoil the impression of even the most sincere empathy.

Be close to a loved one during his joy and share the burden of trouble with him. After all, together you are stronger! And find for him exactly those words that convey your true feelings.

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