No windows, no doors in winter and summer. - Vladimir Volfovich, guess the riddle: without windows, without doors - the upper room is full of people! - Well, what is this mystery? What nonsense? Are the gypsies stuck in the elevator?

the beauty 16.08.2019

Old joke #23 - "No windows, no doors"

Lieutenant Rzhevsky was preoccupied in the morning,
he remembered: a game is expected in the evening,
and in front of her, everyone will always “bend” something,
so he needs a fresh anecdote.
He calls the batman: “Rescue me, Matvey,
I'm going to the Bolkonskys - a joke, come on soon.
"I'm sorry, but ... your wander, stories are all that you knew before,
(here is the true cross for you!) I have already told.
The only mystery that comes to mind is
and more I, alas, do not remember a damn thing.
“Without windows, without doors, the upper room is full of people.”
“Well, it’s very easy to guess, fool!
What else can be? This is an ass. Well, what
your smart master? That's it! There are no fools here!”
"Listen, your wander, you, of course, well done,
but here the answer is different - it's just a cucumber.
The evening has come, Rzhevsky arrived at the casino
and says to his friends: “Listen: for a long time
I wanted to give you a riddle.
Believe me, it's not easy to decide, vigorous mother!
Let's see which one of you gives the answer in the end.
"Without windows, without doors, the ass is full of cucumbers"

NOTE:
Lovers of ill-conceived criticism!
If you seem to miss the rhythm here, note that the verse is written as a kind of yambo-choreic combination. That is, each line is written in rhythm:
-/-/-//-/-/-/ This unusual rhythm is caused by the need to "adjust" to the text of a well-known riddle.

Reviews

Interesting nickname! ☺☼☻☼☺
AT this case You offended yourself by writing your name with a small letter. ☺☼☻☼☺
And most importantly: you contradict yourself - you write that you are silent and immediately give a characterization to the anecdote.
But, you know: I am a gentleman, and therefore I will say one thing about "vulgarity": you forget that all these jokes HAVE ALREADY BEEN COMPOSED, and I only gave them poetic form. So I accept the claims only for their "poetry", but not for the content.
As for your question, I will answer the first part in the negative: no, you can't. And about the second, using your own expression, I’ll keep quiet - I didn’t have to walk along Red Square with the rule of the left foot. ☺☼☻☼☺
I liked your photo, it is spectacular; The only pity is that the face is not visible. But, given the 45-year age difference, I'm unlikely to be successful with you as a man. Let someone younger tell you about Red Square.
All the best.

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From the history of the Mariinsky Theater
Minkus' ballet "Don Quixote" has been successfully running on the stage of St. Petersburg's Mariinsky Theater for God knows how long. And the whole history of this ballet on this stage is divided into two periods: the period “before” and the period “after”.

The period "before" was characterized by the fact that Don Quixote and Sancho Panza rode around the stage, respectively, on a horse and on a donkey. Both the horse and the donkey were alive, real, warm. The "after" period is characterized by Don Quixote and Sancho Panza walking around the stage. Not glorious hidalgos, but some kind of pilgrims. Where did the horse and donkey go? Dead? Devoured by predators? Versions of the mysterious disappearance from the scene of a horse and a donkey bred like mushrooms after rain. I received information about what had happened from my relative, who worked as an illuminator at the Mariinsky Theatre. He claims that this is exactly what happened. Don't know. For what I bought, as they say, for that I sell.

So, the heartbreaking incident that divided the history of the performance into "before" and "after" occurred, it seems, in 1980 Olympic year. Until that day, for each performance of Don Quixote, a well-trained horse and donkey were ordered from the circus, accustomed to the public. But on that ill-fated day, the horse fell ill. And the theater administration, without thinking about the consequences at all, rented a horse from some equestrian section. Also a well-trained animal. Hmm. If only there was one but. The animal turned out to be a mare. This was revealed only when the overture was already sounding. It was too late to change anything. Have you ever tried to convince a donkey who wanted female affection? It is easier to teach a cockroach to dance Jewish dances.
In the very first joint appearance on the stage of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, the donkey, sensing a fresh filly, became insanely excited. Letting out a heart-rending roar, he reared up, throwing Sancho off him. After that, something incredible in its size and very obscene in its appearance. The donkey began to climb from behind onto the mare, who apparently did not mind having a mule. Don Quixote, sensing an attack from the rear, showed miracles of dzhigitovka and flew off the saddle with some wild jump. Sancho, feeling in his spinal cord what was about to happen, began to pull the donkey by the tail. But the damn donkey didn't give up. At this point, he was already in the right hole on the body of the mare and worked with the intensity of a jackhammer. From somewhere in the hall there was a heart-rending female squeal. Someone yelled "Close the curtain!" The conductor mechanically continued waving his arms, not taking his eyes off the madness that was happening on the stage. The orchestra members turned their heads 180 degrees and stared shamelessly at the stage. The music gave a couple of death-beats and died quietly, replaced by a demented chuckle coming from the orchestra pit. Firefighters began to roll their sleeves around the stage in order to reason with the unbelted donkey with the help of water.
In general, the curtain was closed only after two minutes. During these two minutes, the following was observed on the stage of the famous Kirov Academic Theater:
Donkey with a victorious roar fucks the mare that languidly closed her eyes. Sancho Panza pulls the donkey by the tail, causing the whole scene to look like a tug of war. In the corner of the stage, clutching his head and swaying from side to side, sits a completely distraught Don Quixote on the floor. Firefighters, exhausted with laughter, unroll their hoses, and from behind the scenes the director’s cry “Hurry, bitches!!! Quicker!!! I will kill everyone on x#*!!!” Not even laughter, but some kind of gurgling is heard from the orchestra pit. The conductor, succumbing to the general rampage, dances on his stand and openly cheers for the donkey.
Finally the curtain closes. Half of the hall is indignant, a third (mostly old maids) lie in a swoon, the rest demand to open the curtain, because they supposedly paid money and have the right to watch it all.
All. This is where it all ended.

At the next performance, Don Quixote and Sancho were walking. How many goals flew after that ill-fated day is unknown, and it does not matter. As Irakli Andronikov said, “You can send condolences to the circus. Their best performance took place at the Mariinsky Theatre”…

"without windows, without doors, the upper room is full of people" (riddle)

Alternative descriptions

oblong green vegetable

A vegetable of the Cucumis genus, Cucurbitaceae family

Garden plant of the gourd family

Vegetable, garden plant of the gourd family with an oblong green fruit

After what vegetable did the shorty from flower city

. "No Windows, No Doors" (riddle)

. "The barn is full of white sheep"

. "greedy-beef salty..."

. "in the garden it is long and green, and in the tub it is yellow and salty" (riddle)

. "the barn is full of white sheep" (riddle)

aluminum song vegetable

In pimples or lightly salted

What vegetable did the little guys from the Flower City name their stream after?

Green Snack for the Green Snake

Green rhyme for well done and jelly

Gherkin

The best snack for moonshine

M. cucumber, cucumber, cucumber; cucumber southern psk. garden fruit Cucumis Sativus, and the plant itself, cucumbers. Abandoned for seeds, old cucumbers, seeds or achenes. Salted or pickled cucumbers. Freshly pickled cucumbers. Pumpkin pickled cucumbers, in pumpkins, are prepared near Nizhny, in the Podnovye; Potemkin, according to legend, sent messengers after them. Cucumber in the mouth, yes cucumber in the forehead! Without windows, without doors, is the church full of people? cucumber. Cucumber or cucumber beds. Cucumber hangover pickle is good. Cucumber herb or borage, plant. Borago Offic. cucumber taste, goes to botvinia. Bush pirea, see bather. Job borage, May. Phalalea borage, May. Leonty borage, May. Plant cucumbers on Leontius and Falaley. Evdokia borage, August day, cucumbers ripen. Why not well done, if the nose is with a cucumber? Where there are cucumbers, there are drunkards. In order for large cucumbers to be born, they bury a pestle in the garden. White-lipped cucumbers, well done white-bellies, tongue twister. Is a full trough of people washed up? cucumber. Cucumber bill, general, indiscriminate, round, no choice, how and how much to eat. Wolf cucumber, sib. plant Iris flavissima. Field cucumber, sib. plant Vincetoxicum sibiricum, steppe cucumber. Crazy cucumbers, plant. Silene inflata, chrysalis, rattle, nutcracker, crippled, crackers, wild, falcon flight. Hairy cucumbers, plant. Sicyos angulatis. Hare, bear cucumbers, plants, Iris sibirica, bells, cockerel, pevnik, chistyak, pikulnik, magpie flowers, chemennik. Drunken cucumbers, dope. Cucumber, cucumber tops, ogudina

Lightly salted snack

Salted snack

Lightly salted snack

Salted green snack

Between the beds lies a smooth touchstone, rub it against it - you will pick up sharpness (mystery)

Vegetables in pimples

lotion vegetable

Vegetable for pickle

green vegetable

Vegetable of the gourd family

A vegetable that happens and is rabid

The most commonly pickled vegetable